“Gross! My Boyfriend Smells Like Olives!!”

Dear Miles,

My boyfriend smells like olives. Recently, he took me to dinner at a very romantic tapas bar and we were having a nice time. Until I accidentally ordered a dish that has olives (Eeeewwww.) “No big deal” he said. He LOVES olives and traded plates with me. But, of course, that night when we kissed all I could taste were those gross olives. Even weeks later it’s all I can smell whenever he gets close. I finally talked to him about it and he swears he hasn’t been eating any. I think I hurt his feelings. Nevertheless, he still smells like olives. — In a Pickle.


Dear In a Pickle,

I just fell asleep for 5 hours. It’s night time now. Soon it will be morning and the man will feed me the dry food. But it’s not soon enough. I long for the sound of the dry pellets being poured from the heavy bag into the metal bowl. It’s a happy sound. I want to roll around on the carpet. I LOVE TO ROLL AROUND ON THE CARPET! Once, the man left the front door open. I panicked and dashed out into the hallway. It was scary!

Many thanks to Miles for filling in while I took some time to rest and catch up on housework. He seems to have had a good time and even volunteered to fill in again in the future. I might let him answer a couple questions while I’m on vacation in a few weeks. ‘Til then, he bids you all good-bye and happy napping. — Wendy

21 Comments

  1. SpaceySteph says:

    Hah this is awesome.
    Although… I totally do hate olives and everytime my boyfriend eats them I do taste them.

  2. sarolabelle says:

    I didn’t even know olives had a smell….

  3. RoyalEagle0408 says:

    I think Miles should get a regular feature every Friday afternoon.

  4. When my boyfriend eats cheese, his beard smells like cheese until he showers. It’s weird.

  5. Painted_lady says:

    Is he a vegan? My ex was and he totally smelled like olives always. I don’t know if that has anything to do with anything, but that was the only reason I could ever come up with as to why he smelled so funny. His breath smelled like it too, and while I like olives, there’s a reason they’re not used in perfume and breath mints. It was really gross. And it was so funny because about a week before we broke up, he told me he was grossed out by kissing me after I’d eaten cheese or meat or honey or whatever. And I wish I’d told him he tasted like a bad Greek restaurant.

    At any rate, it’s hard to hear someone you love say they don’t like kissing you. And I think you’re going to have to get over it. If the worst thing he does is run around on you with a few olives, then you’re pretty much just looking for problems that don’t exist.

    1. I was hoping that the letter was fake… do you really think it’s not?

      1. I’m sure it’s fake. But it doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there who have similar problems! 😀

      2. Painted_lady says:

        It’s true. I’m a bit gullible. Faulty bullshit detector and all. I generally assume things are true or at least, if they were true what I would advise, hypothetically speaking.

      3. Don’t worry, Painted Lady, I am the most gullible of them all. It was only after this letter that I was 99% sure they were all fake and because I doubt Wendy would let her cat answer people’s letters.

      4. plasticepoxy says:

        HAHA! I thought the others WERE real! I think I’ll still stand behind you in the gullible line though, Maracuya, so you can filter a little of it for me. 🙂

      5. Another cup I’d buy: “Faulty bullshit detector”. Love it!!!

        And I thought that the letters were real too, hahaha!

  6. Miles, I love how you call Drew “the man.” Now he can walk around saying things like, “I’m the man!”

    I love the smell of olive scented beauty products. My friends bought me olive soap from Greece. However, food olives (like black ones) are the worst!

    All I have to say is that I love cats with super-pink noses like Miles. I think they’re extra cute. Also black cats, which is a little contradictory.

  7. haha reading this made me just go get some olives!

  8. Chaotonic says:

    OMG I love his kitty handwriting! He’s sooooo friggin cute. I can’t stop giggling such an overload of cuteness!

  9. silver_dragon_girl says:

    I love Miles 🙂 I think Shakespeare the cat would probably like his advice on why she will suddenly only drink from a running faucet…

    Anyway, Wendy, I think you should make Miles the official answer-er of any really asinine letters you get. Like ones written all in txt-spk or asking if they should “accidentally” get pregnant to keep their boyfriend of 3 weeks from breaking up with them.

    1. ReginaRey says:

      Love this idea. “Because the answer is so obvious, a cat can respond.”

      1. elisabeth says:

        Or at least as a response to the “Your Turn” posts! That’s what I thought these were until (like Maracuya) I was sure they weren’t real, hah.

        Gullible or not, I had fun playing along!

  10. Whelan wants to know if he can your BF’s friend. He just loves olives. And cheese. And Pringles. He’s an odd one.

  11. Thank you Wendy and MIles! My cats (Elsie and Trinity) both now have a huge crush on Miles! Please come back soon and answer their questions regarding what to do if you fight with your roomcat over who the advice-cat will like more…

  12. Olives make me gag. Anything pickled, actually.

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