Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Happy Lurker Introduction Day and DW Social Hour!

Guess what today is?! It’s Lurker Introduction Day (Take 7), a day when lurkers on this website are invited to come out of hiding and show themselves. It’s also a day I totally made up. But, look, I know what it’s like. I’ve been before, and am, a lurker on different sites. You read along for weeks or maybe months (maybe even years??) without ever having an intention to NOT participate — it just sort of happens that way. You might have things to say in the comments, but they’ve already been said a dozen or so other ways by other people — people who comment all the time. Or, maybe you’re kind of shy. Or maybe you can’t think of a good user name. Or you don’t want to leave any digital breadcrumbs to your real identity. I don’t know. I guess lurkers all have their reasons. But maybe if you’re specifically invited to come out and introduce yourselves and participate in our conversations, those reasons won’t seem as important.

So here it is: an introduction to you lurkers to come introduce yourselves (and start commenting if you want). Tell us who you are and what your story is and how long you’ve been lurking in the shadows. Come out in the light and let us get a good look atcha, why don’t you? We’re a friendly bunch (mostly) and would love to hear from you.

But let’s not stop there! Even if you aren’t a lurker — if you’ve been commenting for years — I’d love to hear more about you. Think of this as DW social hour. Where do you live? Whom do you live with? Do you have pets? Kids? Allergies to all of the above? What’s the last book you read? Movie you saw? Where’s your favorite place you have traveled to or location for an upcoming vacation you have planned or a place you’ve always wanted to visit? What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? If we were at a real DW happy hour right now, what would you be drinking? (I’d probably be drinking bourbon hot chocolate.)

[Check out previous Lurker Introduction Days here, here, here, here, here and here!]

74 comments… add one
  • Ale January 7, 2019, 1:17 pm

    I live in San José, Costa Rica, with three cats. I’m going to hike the Inka Trail in April!

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    • Dear Wendy January 7, 2019, 4:53 pm

      I’m jealous! Costa Rica is beautiful.

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    • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 12:54 pm

      In Peru? Please keep us updated on that. I am plotting a similar trip…

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  • Allornone January 7, 2019, 2:08 pm

    I’ve posted a handful of times before, but nothing that really contributed anything significant or make me stand out. So not really a lurker, but kind of. I’ve been hiding in the shadows at this site for about two years now.

    My name is Kate. I live in Miami, FL, USA, with my long-term boyfriend and work as a grant writer for a nonprofit that serves individuals living with epilepsy. I’m broke, but happy.

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    • Dear Wendy January 7, 2019, 4:54 pm

      Hi! My sister lives in Miami, too, and also works for a nonprofit that helps people.

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  • becboo84 January 7, 2019, 2:15 pm

    I am an occasional poster but longtime reader. I live in central Illinois with my husband of 12 years, our two kiddos (10 year old daughter and 5.5 year old son) and our precious nephew (almost 8 months), and I work in association management.

    We love to travel, and are looking forward to whatever adventures 2019 may hold! Last year the older two kids and I went to Amsterdam for their Spring Break, we took a family vacation to Disney World over the summer, and my husband and I spent a long weekend in Boston in the fall.

    Any other central Illinoisans on here? I’d love to schedule a meetup.

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    • Dear Wendy January 7, 2019, 4:55 pm

      I remember you! You used to have a different avatar, right?

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  • Salli January 7, 2019, 3:20 pm

    Partial lurker for a couple years now in the snowy North with dogs, a cat, fish, bearded dragon and a preschooler. I do social work and have been loving a subscription horror book box to keep me stocked with good reading material.

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  • Moneypenny January 7, 2019, 3:33 pm

    Hiya! I’m a longtime reader (since the frisky days) and a longtime off and on commenter (I usually read at work and don’t always have a chance to chime in). I’ve met and become friends with a few DW’ers and I met Wendy a couple of years ago! DW folks are lovely people.

    I live in San Francisco with a roommate and work in the architecture industry. I’m planning a trip with my bf of 2 years to Norway and London in September!

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    • Dear Wendy January 7, 2019, 4:57 pm

      Hi! How’s life post Nutcracker? 🙂

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      • Moneypenny January 7, 2019, 5:58 pm

        Hi! Life is good now! I had 18 shows, the last on the 29th, so I spent last week doing very little. 🙂 I’m going back to dance class tonight, though, and I don’t want to have that hectic schedule for a looooong time!

      • ktfran January 8, 2019, 8:51 am

        I’m headed your way Moneypenny for just a day at the end of January. We’ll be in Callistoga for a couple of days and then San Francisco for one.

        I was so excited to read that you were in the Nutcracker. Very cool!

      • JD January 8, 2019, 9:06 am

        If you will be in Callistoga I cannot recommend Chateau Montelena enough. Most beautiful winery around, plus the best Cab I’ve ever had.

      • ktfran January 8, 2019, 9:23 am

        Thx for the rec! We like how low key Callistoga is so prefer to stay there over the other places in Napa. And I can’t say enough for the Wine Way Inn. It’s my absolute favorite place to stay.

      • Vathena January 8, 2019, 9:43 am

        My husband (then boyfriend) and I stayed in Calistoga at the Wine Way Inn on our first big trip together, ten years ago! It was so lovely. Have fun, ktfran!

      • ktfran January 8, 2019, 10:42 am

        Ooh. Fun Vathena!!!! I actually thought the husband was going to propose to me there. He tricked me and proposed two weeks later. Bastard. Not really.

      • Moneypenny January 9, 2019, 1:11 pm

        Ktfran, if you’re still reading, I think your trip sounds amazing! I haven’t spent much time in Calistoga, only Sonoma and Napa (plus I have fam in Napa so I end up just going up for family events). If you had more time I would totally love to meet up and get a drink! Perhaps on a future trip! 🙂

      • ktfran January 9, 2019, 2:10 pm

        I’m still reading! Do you have any recs for a delicious but easy lunch in Napa? We’ll stop for lunch there before he hit up Trefethen.

        I wish it were more than a day in San Francisco. I’ll definitely be back for a long trip. I desperately want to take my mom. It’s the one U.S. city that she consistently says she’d like to visit and my dad likely won’t go. I would definitely be up for a meetup!!!

    • Moneypenny January 9, 2019, 2:58 pm

      Kt- I recommend the Oxbow Public Market- they have a number of different food options (it’s basically like a food hall) and everything I have had there is delicious. I definitely recommend it.
      I also like Ad Hoc in Yountville (NOM). Also, Boon Fly Cafe (NOMNOM). Definitely get a reservation if you can just because places get so busy esp on the weekends!

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      • ktfran January 9, 2019, 3:09 pm

        Lol. We did Oxbow last time and enjoyed it!!! We’ll likely go back and I love that you recommended it!!!

      • ktfran January 9, 2019, 3:19 pm

        To be more specific, Hog Island Oyster Bar.

      • Moneypenny January 9, 2019, 4:30 pm

        Ooooh, nice!! Mmm, oysters. I haven’t eaten there specifically when I’ve gone to Oxbow but have gone to Hog Island in Tomales Bay! (Put that on your list for a future visit!) I feel like there are so many options at a place like Oxbow you really can’t go wrong.

  • Accord January 7, 2019, 3:42 pm

    I’ve been reading in the shadows for a little more than a year now. I live alone in Seattle, Washington. No pets since my allergies have gotten significantly worse over time, but I used to have rabbits when I was younger.

    I recently re-read Watership Down and watched the Netflix/BBC adaptation and enjoyed that a lot. I’m also rewatching “The West Wing” tv series.

    (apologies if this posted twice)

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  • thatgirl January 7, 2019, 3:46 pm

    Long time lurker…I commented and even posted once a few years ago, but then the site was blocked at work! It was recently unblocked, so here I am again…lurking….reading….commenting in my head, but not on screen!

    My life has completely changed since I was here before, but in great and positive ways!

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  • soffft January 7, 2019, 4:59 pm

    Hi all!

    I’ve been reading DW for years and only commented once I think. I’m a PhD student in a science field in the UK. Sadly no pets because I can’t have them in most of the rentals, but the prospect of graduating and getting a cat is what keeps me going.
    Currently I live with my boyfriend and I would be drinking a G&T. I’m currently reading “This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate” by Naomi Klein, which I recommend but might drive me to alcoholism.

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    • MissD January 8, 2019, 8:27 am

      Hi! I also live in the UK, my partner is also a PhD in science, I also love cats (have 3 of em, luckily) and I also love G&T ever since I moved here 🙂

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  • TheRascal January 7, 2019, 5:04 pm

    Occasional commenter. Mostly a lurker. Though I have made a real-life friend from the site (hiiiiiii K!) when I posted almost two years ago about potential jobs my husband was considering during our big move out of Brooklyn.

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    • K January 8, 2019, 12:28 pm

      Hiiiii! 🙂

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  • MP January 7, 2019, 5:11 pm

    I’m a longtime lurker (since around 2014?) and occasional commenter, please call me by my middle name Maria. 🙂 I live in Hell’s Kitchen, NYC with my husband (we got hitched on 21 December 2018!) but I’m originally fromthe Midwest. I do techy things on podcasts for a living at a news/media organization. I love kitties, cooking, and trying new bath products (I got the Japanese bath salts you recommended last week, Wendy!). Nice to meet y’all. 🙂

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    • Dear Wendy January 7, 2019, 5:20 pm

      Hi! Drew and I used to live in Hell’s Kitchen. Most of the places I loved are gone now, but I think Casellula on 52nd st is still going strong. Congrats on your marriage!

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    • LisforLeslie January 8, 2019, 9:12 am

      Congrats on the marriage! There’s an awesome Brazilian place just north of HK – hole in the wall tiny but delicious.

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  • convexed January 7, 2019, 5:53 pm

    I’ve been reading since The Frisky, too. I comment every once in a while, but I’m usually reading Dear Wendy on my phone during my lunch break, and I hate typing on my phone.
    I’m a nurse in Pittsburgh, live with my boyfriend, his kids, and way too many pets. In my free time I do a lot of painting and drawing, and for the past year or so I’ve been working on my first novel. I like to get really ambitious with my hobbies, probably because my job is so demanding.
    This is the only advice column that I’ve never gotten tired of; it’s probably the only site I’ve never stopped frequenting in my entire adulthood. Don’t always agree with Wendy 100%, but I always respect and understand her take on the issues.

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  • MaltaKano January 7, 2019, 6:08 pm

    Hi! I’ve just started wading into the comments. (I was intitially a little nervous about getting on the wrong side of BGM’s cranky wrath :-P) I’m an English teacher and, in my free time, a writer of a YA novel. I am pretty much always rewatching either the Office, Parks and Rec, or any and all versions of Pride and Prejudice. My boyfriend and I recently adopted a sweet, goofy dog and that’s been a steep learning curve – but worth it!

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  • Rangerchic January 7, 2019, 6:11 pm

    Hello everyone,

    I’ve been a reader since the Frisky and don’t comment to often but have started to comment more lately, mostly in the forums.

    My name is Anna and I live in Colorado Springs with my husband and youngest daughter who started college in the fall. We’ve only been here about 3.5 years – originally from Arkansas. The three of us travelled to Hawaii last summer and the beaches there are so beautiful I wish we could afford to make it an annual trip.

    We have two dogs that we adore. A schnauzer/terrier mix and a pug/dotson mix. They are both overweight but happy 🙂
    My oldest daughter is getting married this summer. I’m excited for that to happen!

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  • theotherbarb January 7, 2019, 9:15 pm

    Hi! Well, I’ve been a rare commenter, mostly lurker for many years. I am now what an even older friend called “officially old” – I’ll leave that to your imagination. But, I have two very grown children (with my first husband) and two grown grandchildren, so that tells you something right there. I live with my second husband in Sacramento, which is where I was born and have lived since. Greta Gerwig was right on when she said (in Lady Bird) that “Sacramento is the Midwest of California.” I do love it here.

    I’ve had two careers in my life, always within local government. First was in social welfare work, and the second was in computer programming. Could not have been a bigger contrast! Now I’m retired and enjoying it a lot!

    Also….I love BGM, even his “cranky wrath”! Although, I’ve noticed that he’s mellowed just a bit during the last year or so! Always have enjoyed his comments, as well as those of the regulars (cranky or otherwise!) And of course, DW’s excellent advice!

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  • Red January 7, 2019, 10:21 pm

    I’ve been reading your site since you were City Wendy in the Windy City, so a long time, and this is my first time commenting! I’m closer to your parents’ age but I love reading your column to see what the young people are up to these days. ? I now live in NW Washington but my husband and I are moving to Ireland this summer.

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    • Dear Wendy January 8, 2019, 7:00 am

      Oh my gosh, you’ve been reading such a long time – thank you! This year marks 15 years since I started CWitWC, and I love that you called me young. We will need to hear more about this move to Ireland…

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    • Grogels January 8, 2019, 3:23 pm

      Hi! I’ve been around since City Wendy as well – I was living in Chicago and stumbled upon it somehow. Now I’m just outside the city with my husband, dog and and and little guy who is turning 1 later this month! I think I commented one time before but otherwise I just like to read on my lunch break- I work at the local PBS station.

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      • Dear Wendy January 9, 2019, 5:56 am

        Hi, you also win for longest-reader! Thanks for sticking around so long!

  • Miss MJ January 7, 2019, 10:25 pm

    Love this!!!

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  • AnotherElle January 8, 2019, 1:45 am

    Hello! Lurker from the Frisky days here. I used to comment here and there, but now enjoy just following the conversations, and y’alls great advice. DW has gotten me through a couple big breakups, new jobs, a stint of unemployment, grad school, major bouts of depression, 5-ish big moves, an LDR, getting married, and a new dog!

    I currently live in San Diego with my husband and our dog. He’s in the military and we’re currently waiting on new orders that might move us to who knows where this year! I’m both anxious and excited about it. Right now I work in local govt doing something I mostly enjoy. A big concern of mine is not being able to continue doing it wherever we move to, even though I don’t actually see myself in this type of position for the rest of my career. ??‍♀️ I also don’t really know what else I’d even really want to do, so maybe now is a good time to start thinking it over!

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    • Boobs Magee January 8, 2019, 3:42 pm

      Hello from another San Diegan! 🙂

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      • AnotherElle January 9, 2019, 4:21 pm

        Hi there! Happy to “meet” a fellow San Diegan who might also be moving soon. Congrats to your daughter, that sounds like quite the accomplishment! Moving to the East Coast with her sounds like it would be quite the adventure.

  • TheHizzy January 8, 2019, 8:04 am

    Long time reader/commenter.

    I live in the Lone Star state with my fiancee and cat. Originally from the Midwest and desperately missing the snow, they sure know how to eat down here though!

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  • JD January 8, 2019, 8:14 am

    Regular commenter. Live in Illinois on the Iowa border now (for a while longer). From CA but stints in Seattle, San Fran and Denver. Two yorkies, a husband and a stepson (who is going to be late for school if he doesn’t get his butt in gear right now). Moving to the Salt Lake area next year.

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  • LisforLeslie January 8, 2019, 9:18 am

    I’ll go – started reading at Frisky, jumped in to the forums at some point. Middle aged New Yorker, considering moving to the south to be closer to family. No kids, no pets, no plants. I just finished watching 4 seasons of Schitt’s Creek and can’t wait for the next season.

    Currently in Florida avoiding winter. Also learning canasta because that’s the law down here and I refuse to learn how to play bridge.

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  • Carolina Blue January 8, 2019, 11:04 am

    Hi Everyone!
    My name is Alecia and I’ve been reading Wendy’s advice since The Frisky. My love of advice columns stems from reading Ann Landers growing up.
    I live in NC. Currently taking time to find a new job, work on my health and focus on relationships. Reading Wendy keeps me motivated and encouraged.

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    • Dear Wendy January 9, 2019, 5:57 am

      I read Ann Landers growing up too, and Dear Abby.
      Thanks for reading DW!

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      • JD January 9, 2019, 8:07 am

        I too read both growing up. I’d sit with my grandma while she had her morning coffee and read and we’d discuss them.

  • HB January 8, 2019, 11:09 am

    Hi, I am a very longtime lurker, although I have commented once or twice in the distant past. I follow Wendy on Insta and find her hilarious, so maybe a lurker there as well? I enjoy reading Wendy’s advice but also her personal stories, especially on motherhood – being a mom myself, and Wendy’s Picks. I also find I get inspiration on ways to make things in the world a bit better and right now we need that. Hello to all!

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    • Dear Wendy January 9, 2019, 5:58 am

      Hi! Thanks for also following along on Insta. I have so much fun with that different medium. 🙂

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  • K January 8, 2019, 12:35 pm

    Hello! I’ve been reading Wendy’s column since The Frisky days. I lurked on DW for a year or so before I started commenting. I love hiking and kayaking and if we were at a real DW happy hour, I’d be drinking a sour IPA from my favorite local brewery, or a glass of Sauvignon Blanc or Riesling. As TheRascal mentioned above, we have become real-life friends thanks to DW! The last time we got together, she cooked us a delicious dinner. Yum!

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    • TheRascal January 8, 2019, 6:02 pm

      Aww, thanks! I actually just made it the other night, too. I’m so obsessed. Also, if there was ever a DW hangout north of the city at your favorite brewery, I’d be there in a heartbeat ?

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      • K January 9, 2019, 12:29 pm

        That would be a great place for a meetup…I wonder if there are any other DWers in our general area.

  • Boobs Magee January 8, 2019, 3:57 pm

    Hi Everyone!

    Loooooooong time lurker, very rare commenter. My name is Shauni, and I live in my hometown of San Diego with my two kitties, and an army of dust bunnies. I’m considering moving to the East Coast in the next two years as my daughter was recently awarded a Fellowship for grad school (she has to decide between Columbia, Georgetown, & Harvard), and then a 5-year stint as a Foreign Service officer upon completing her Masters. I truly love San Diego, but my profession as a technical editor isn’t hugely lucrative, and SD is so very expensive to comfortably exist in. We’ll see! Any recommendations??

    I’ve been reading Wendy’s column since her Frisky days, and have used PLENTY of the advice given out over the years for my own life. I’m one of the older DWers, I believe (54), but good, solid advice is always timeless. My drink of choice is a very dirty martini, and man-oh-man I would love to spend an afternoon drinking with all of you!

    Thanks for creating this site, Wendy!

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    • Dear Wendy January 9, 2019, 6:01 am

      Hi! Congrats to your daughter on the impressive fellowship.
      And you might be surprised to learn that there are quite a few 50+ DW readers (they just don’t always volunteer their ages, or comment regularly, but they’re here!).

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      • Boobs Magee January 9, 2019, 4:56 pm

        Thanks, Wendy! I’m beyond proud of her.
        Yay! So awesome knowing there are more than a few other lurkers/commenters ‘of a certain age’. 🙂

  • CurlyQue January 8, 2019, 5:48 pm

    I’m a casual commenter, but i’m on here almost daily. I’m 32 and near Portland, OR (meet up anyone?) with my cat Mildred (Millie). Currently single and spending too much of my weekends with a fwb when i should be dating….i’m working on it. 🙂

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  • Kate K. January 8, 2019, 11:44 pm

    Hi! I think I’ve commented maybe once before ? But I’m Kate and I live in Pasadena, CA, with my husband and our jerk (but loved) cat named Seymour. I teach ESL (English as a Second Language) at USC.

    Oh, and I’ve been reading your website for less than year. Don’t know how I stumbled on it, but thank you!

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  • Diana January 9, 2019, 3:37 am

    I’ve been a lurker for some time now. Maybe a few years. I’ve commented maybe once or twice a while back lol. I’m an artist in LA. Love horror, Sci-Fi and fantasy. I travel to comic conventions a lot selling my artwork. I’ve been enjoying your advice column quite a bit.

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  • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 12:39 pm

    I am a washed up writer with a semi-distastrous mgm webseries under my belt. So I am presently an art director of Lifetime Movies… Meaning my work days are filled either with way too many christmas trees or way too few murderous strippers here in LA…

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    • JD January 9, 2019, 12:43 pm

      I was trying to watch the ex wife kill the new girlfriend the other day but husband wasn’t having it.

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      • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 12:49 pm


        are the two most recent ones that might still be avail ON DEMAND.

      • JD January 9, 2019, 12:51 pm

        Check and check.

      • K January 9, 2019, 3:40 pm

        We forecast the weather for Lifetime movies, but the ones filmed in Ottawa. With such names as “Homekilling Queen” and “Murdered at 17”.

      • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 6:18 pm

        All of mine are in CA… though I think I have two coming on location in the mountains — near Big Bear. 🙂

    • Moneypenny January 9, 2019, 1:16 pm

      I will also add that Mark has fantastic taste in mid-century modern furniture and pottery and goes on super cool trips to places like Joshua Tree and other random spots in the desert. 😉

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      • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 1:27 pm

        Just got back from a quick overnight in Palm Springs. Stayed at a fun — simple Tiki Motel. CALIENTE TROPICS! Complete with Tiki Torches poolside and a in groovy in house Tiki Bar… THE REEF.
        Very retro 1960s… Very charming. Very Old Palm Springs in the best way.

      • Moneypenny January 9, 2019, 2:43 pm

        AGH, I’m jealous!!!!!

      • Boobs Magee January 9, 2019, 4:59 pm

        That Tiki Motel sounds AMAZING. Right up my alley.

      • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 6:16 pm

        It was great! Very reasonable! I so will stay there again!!

      • Bittergaymark January 9, 2019, 6:20 pm

      • Boobs Magee January 10, 2019, 2:15 pm

        Thanks for the link!
        I think I see a road trip in my near future…


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