His Take questions are answered by our panel of smart, opinionated, and funny dudes. The guys are pretty split on their advice to this letter writer:
Oh, you need an explanation? Fine. “He doesn’t want to cuddle all the time and experience ‘the honeymoon stage’ because that eventually ends.” Wait, this isn’t even an explanation. It’s an obvious lie and you shouldn’t stand for it. He specifically stated he’s just interested in you for sex (oh, and friendship — yeah, because he sounds like a blast to hang out with, and clearly you’re going to be great friends when you dump his sorry ass) and, while there’s nothing in here specifically about what you want, only a kind of timeline of events in your pseudo relationship, it’s clear that you’re not happy with the direction this is headed in.
You don’t talk about yourself, what you want, how old you are, etc., so allow me to infer that you are in your early 20s (at the oldest) and want some sort of respectful relationship (at the least), whatever that means to you. This is not a relationship. This is a weird relationship. It’s possible that, having met his father, you are subconsciously considering this more of a serious coupling than it really is. However, he’s un-serious and contradictory, dishonest and bizarre. Luckily, since you say nothing about your own feelings for him, you’re virtually indifferent to him anyway.
The time you’ve wasted reading my response is time you should have spent finding someone better for you. Have fun out there.
Dennis Hong: First off, good for him for not making out with you in front of his dad. Who wants to see their kid doing that, anyway? Ergo, let’s remove that tidbit from our pile of clues we’re trying to piece together. That means we have exactly one clue that he is keeping some distance (the comment about wearing his heart on his sleeve and what he wants and doesn’t want), and roughly 20,000 clues that he likes you, including both his words and his actions. If this were a vote, “he likes you” wins by a landslide. For this reason, I don’t see any need to question what’s going on after, what, three dates (?). You’re seeing someone you like, who seems to like you right back, and I think you should just enjoy the so-called “honeymoon phase” without turning it into the “inquisition stage.”
Guy Friday: Some more context as to the spacing between these dates would have been ideal, but failing that I’m going to suggest that perhaps he already told you what’s going on: He wears his heart on his sleeve. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing; I do too. It just means he is going to suck at hiding his feelings with you. So you get what happens here: He knows that INTELLECTUALLY he needs to take things slow emotionally, but his HEART is already signing up for that “honeymoon stage” he’s talking about. If the dates happened to be fairly close together, that just supports my argument further.
I think you need to decide what YOU want from him and then tell him. If you want to have a relationship, cuddling, etc., then give him your blessing, and I imagine he’ll be thrilled. If you don’t, tell him that he doesn’t have to feel bad about taking it slow because you like it that way. But it sounds like he’s ready for more if you are.
If you’d like to ask the guys a question, email me at [email protected] with “His Take” in the subject line and I’ll pass your question along to them.