Again, he and this girl called it off and he came back. Stupid to let him back, I know.
Now it’s nearly a year later and things between us have been good. I still have some issues trusting him, but so far he has been honest and open about everything, even the things I don’t necessarily want to hear. My problem is, he wants to continue a friendship with the girl he left me for. Twice. I have told him that in no way do I want her around. But, he keep saying he “never turns his back on a friend.” THEN, I got an email from this girl’s current fiancé saying that she and my boyfriend had slept together recently. My boyfriend denies this, and I believe him. He said he realized this girl was drama and that he was going to cut it all off because her friendship wasn’t worth losing our relationship. A couple days later, though, he accepted her friend request on Facebook (or vice versa; I don’t know.) Obviously, this “friendship” isn’t over.
Writing this, I realize that I am paranoid and our relationship is unhealthy. I just kind of want someone to tell me what no one else can: the truth. Should I dump him? Am I overreacting? Is it OK for him to be friends with someone he cheated on me with? (I say NOOOOO). — Twice Bitten
You want the truth? The truth is your boyfriend is a scumbag and has made and continues to make a fool of you while you stand by his side like a clueless woman who doesn’t realize she has a choice not to be exploited and disrespected. Honey, get out of that relationship. MOA! He cheated on you with a teenager. He left you for her twice. You have good reason to believe he continues to cheat on you with her to this day. And then on top of it all, your boyfriend goes and accepts this girl’s friend request on Facebook, telling you he “never turns his back on a friend”?? WTF?! He sure didn’t have a problem turning his back on you when he dumped your ass twice to take up with the teen, did he?
What more do you need to have happen before you get some self-respect and move on? Do you need to actively catch them in bed together? Do you need to be dumped again? I guarantee — stay with your boyfriend a little longer and both of those scenarios are likely to happen in the not-too-distant future. But don’t let them happen! Move on! Pack up your stuff and get the hell out of there. Your boyfriend isn’t over this girl, he doesn’t respect or care for you, and you don’t have a future together (how can you when you don’t trust the guy?). Move on and then get yourself some therapy so you can address the issues that kept you in such an unhealthy relationship for so long.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected] and be sure to follow me on Twitter.