Presumably, meeting in person is a chance to see whether your online chemistry and connection translates into real life and if there’s enough interest to pursue a (long distance) relationship. Because, while it may seem like after conversing with this guy for a month, you totally “click,” you really don’t know each other very well yet and it’s important to manage your expectations. The STD revelation is a perfect example of why it’s so important not to get ahead of yourselves. How much more is there you don’t know about him? Probably quite a bit. And some of what you don’t know may be great stuff, and some of it, like learning he has an STD, may give you pause and make you wonder whether this is really the guy for you.
Without knowing any of the details of his STD, I say you should at least see what he’s like in person. You’ve come this far with him — what harm is there in meeting up with him? You certainly don’t have to sleep with him this weekend. Nor should you. But seeing him in person will answer many of the questions you’re now asking yourself, and not meeting him will leave a lot of questions unanswered, the most annoying of which will be: “what if?” And that’s a question that will lead to more sleepless nights than I’m sure you care to have.
Anyway, for all you know, you’ll have zero chemistry with him in person, which will be as much or more a deterrent in pursuing a relationship with him as his STD. On the other hand, your chemistry may be off the charts, in which case, you’ll have a little more information and perspective from which to decide whether the risk of dating him is worth it. You’ll also go a long way in earning this guy’s trust and respect, which will put you in a much better position to ask the kinds of questions about his disease that you need to ask.
Finally — and I hope this goes without saying — before you engage in any sexual activity with him (if you were to get to that point), make sure you are as educated about his disease as you can be and you take as many precautions as possible. Don’t let him talk you into anything you aren’t emotionally or physically prepared for. But also keep in mind that many STDs are manageable and carry a low risk of being passed from partner to partner if the appropriate precautions are taken. Today we’re seeing more private STD testing companies such as STDCheck.com and they make it much more convenient to order STD tests. Hopefully, as you get to know this guy, you’ll realize that his STD is just a tiny part of his whole package and it doesn’t define who he is as a man, a person, or a partner. If you’re going to let him him, that’s your choice, of course, but you’ll feel better about that decision if you base it on more than just what you know at this moment. Meeting him in person and learning a little more about him and his disease will give you the information you need to make a decision you won’t regret.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected].