No, it’s not Friday yet (sorry, it’s just Tuesday), but since I expect many of you will be enjoying a shortened week/long holiday weekend, I thought I’d post Shortcuts a few days early. Plus, I don’t have any letters at the moment I feel inspired to answer (so, if you have a burning/juicy relationship question, send it in!).
For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Well, not by you, that’s for sure. As inappropriate as you may find the 18-year-old sister’s behavior (and her parents’ unfazed reaction to it), it’s equally inappropriate for you to make this your concern. It’s your daughter marrying into this family; if she’s bothered by her future SIL’s behavior and her fiancé’s handling of it, it’s her job to express that discomfort and discuss a possible solution with her fiancé that doesn’t alienate herself from her future in-laws. You would be wise to loosen the apron strings and let your daughter begin navigating her relationship and new family dynamics on her own. The 18-year-old isn’t the only one here who’s getting a little too close for comfort.
He may be your man, but he’s a father to one newborn baby and another on the way and that’s a bigger priority right now. Sorry, Charlie, but you’re about to take a back seat to the demands and stresses of his mounting responsibilities. And if you don’t, then that doesn’t speak well of him as a dad. Focus on taking care of yourself during the rest of your pregnancy and being as present and strong for your baby-to-be as you can. Something tells me that child will be lucky to have one solid parent in its corner.
Would he stay faithful and committed to us? — To Move or Not
Obviously, I don’t know whether your partner would remain faithful and committed to you, but I’d say his cheating — and seeming lack of remorse — would be a pretty strong indication that he very well will cheat again. If you want to avoid a potential disaster, then avoid moving to another state with a young child to be with a man you don’t trust. Stay where you and tell your partner that, if he wants you both in his life, he needs to prove his commitment to you first. Also, this should go without saying: Do NOT quit any job you have or put yourself in a position where you depend on this man for financial support to pay your bills. If he can’t be trusted to remain faithful to you, he can’t be trusted to support you either.
That maybe he gets cold feet?
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.