New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice.
His Take questions are answered by our panel of smart, opinionated, and funny dudes.
Me: The same but next to my dog
Him: I don’t think it’s appropriate if I persuade you with your dog around, lol
Me: Haha no. I didn’t know what happened to you so I just let her in
Him: lol it’s ok
Me: Well, if you’re still up for it I could just let her out?
Him: Let’s leave it for tomorrow. I am falling asleep
Him: Goodnight, hun
Me:GoodnightI honestly felt dissed or maybe I am overreacting. Anyway, I haven’t heard from him for three days now. I don’t know if I should text him or just leave it alone? Did he lose interest? I really am attracted to this guy and would love to hook up with him when he comes back. What do I do? — Sexting Girl
ANDREW: You’re really attracted to this guy and would love to hook up with him when he gets back? What should you do? He’s a guy. And he’s been sexting you. Tell him you want to hook up with him and he will say yes. It’s that simple. As to what he is doing during those long breaks in between texts? I don’t know but I’m sure it’s probably something disgusting.
Now, lets get down to the real issue. You say you were uncomfortable sending him a dirty picture because you are in “the media business and don’t want it to appear publicly.” When I first read that I assumed you were a correspondent on a small market local news cast. Then I re-read the letter and I realized who you are. You are Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett… you have to stop sexting everyone all the time. No good will come from this. Also, my cell number is 713 574-5287.
DENNIS: First off, your letter would sound a lot more reasonable if you strike out “I am in the media business” from your sixth sentence, because…. Seriously? That’s why you don’t feel comfortable texting him a dirty pic of yourself? Well, whatever. Regardless of how you came to that conclusion, at least you didn’t do something idiotic. As for the drop-off in texts from him…. First, I’m gonna raise both arms over my head and form them into two semi-circles that sort of resemble the letter M. Next, I’m gonna take my same arms and make a big circle in the shape of an O. After that, I’m gonna form a triangular shape and yell out “A!” Then I’m gonna snap both my fingers and point them straight at you. Got it?
ART: He already knows you’ll hook up with him and he now knows you won’t send him dirty pictures of yourself. Where is his motivation to keep texting you? Wake up. Text him once he gets to town and be prepared to get biz-zay. (But only for the time he’s in town. After that it will be silence again BECAUSE THAT’S HOW HOOKUPS WORK.)
JAREK: Granted, sextology is only a hobby of mine, but conventional wisdom would lead us to believe that sexting between two relatively unfamiliar people of opposing genders only works if both parties have little to no inhibitions. This is because guys and girls often process arousal differently. There’s a reason the erotica industry does not heavily target the male demographic, and last I checked there are far more scantily clad women on magazine covers than there are men. We’ve broached this topic on here many times already – men are simply visual creatures. It’s why we’ll spend $150 on a navigation system instead of printing the directions from MapQuest for free. One you look at, the other you read. Women, privileged to this information about men, are therefore reluctant to share personal pictures of themselves out of fear that men will likely share said images with other men. Women will share pictures of their man with other women, of course. But that is usually in the case of infidelity, and the women they share with usually belong to the media.
Fortunately, your situation is rather simple. He’s bored with reading and writing and wants something you’re not prepared to offer. Trying to get him to continue sexting with you is rather futile, so I’d just let it go. If he wants to hook up with you when he gets back to the states – and who are we kidding, he will – he knows how to get in touch with you. Until then, pretend you’re playing hard to get and just stop texting. He may get bored with the lack of attention and reach out again. This may or may not come in the form of a picture of his penis. This would be a good time to remind him you work in the media industry. Oh, and P.S., stop trying to analyze your texting conversations.
* If you’d like to ask the guys a question, simply email me at [email protected] with “His Take” in the subject line and I’ll pass your question along to them.