How have you been feeling lately? The last week has felt particularly heavy at least in terms of the continued terrible news cycle. And on a personal level, I have been feeling more anxious than usual (and I’m already fairly anxious to begin with). I’ve had a few restless nights thinking/worrying about…
summer plans (various camps for Jackson, childcare for Joanie, extracurricular classes for them both, travel reservations), the next school year and whether Jackson will get a teacher who has been as compassionate with him as this year’s teacher has been, whether Joanie will love preschool, and all the things on my to-do list that I didn’t get to and that I probably won’t get to the next day. I recognize this pattern — it starts off as a little anxiety, I lose some sleep which compounds the anxiety, and before you know it, I am one tiny crisis away from a full-on panic. So I am doing the things that have helped manage my anxiety in the past: I’m going for bike rides, taking hot baths, stretching and doing yoga, going to bed at a decent time, trying to eat well. I’m still going to acupuncture every other week to treat my alopecia, and while I can see some new eyebrow hairs sprouting up (which is great!), the hair on my head has been falling out in greater volume the past week or two. When I’m home, I see the hair on the floor and hanging from the stairs, and this morning I opened a kitchen cabinet and there were two strands of my hair just dangling from a shelf inside — little reminders that I don’t have as much control over my life as I’d like. Who among us does, right?
Anyway, it often helps me to just name what I’m feeling, to share it and take away some of its power. The other day we had a particularly rough afternoon with one of our kids that left me feeling frustrated and, mostly, sad. “I have the sads,” I told Drew. He did too. We talked it out and I felt a little better. “We’re going to have rough days,” he reminded me. “But it’s going to be OK.”
Are you feeling anxious or sad about anything? Or happy and excited? Sometimes happy and excited don’t get the credit they’re due. I’m excited for our first summer in our home — family dinners on our deck and watching the sunset with Drew after we get the kids to bed.
What about you? How are you feeling these days?