Does he want more? — Wants More
If I had a dime for every letter I’ve received from someone wondering if the “hints” her FWB is dropping means he wants something more, I’d have, well, maybe enough money for a one-way flight to Fiji, which sounds pretty amazing right now. So, because so many of you are asking this same question over and over and over, I’m going to give you the ultimate guide to figuring out if your FWB wants something more. Are you ready? Take a deep breath because I’m about to change some lives.
How to Know if your FWB Wants Something More in Five Simple Steps:
1. Ask him.
2. If he says “no,” then that means he doesn’t.
3. If he says “maybe,” or he’s not sure or he needs more time to figure it out, then that means that he wants to keep having sex with you as long as he can without committing to anything but that, as soon as you give him an ultimatum, he’s out.
4. If he says yes but doesn’t change any of his behavior — like, if he doesn’t spend time with you out of the sack and he doesn’t make plans with you in advance and he doesn’t introduce you to people in his life or act interested in meeting people in your life or show you nonsexual affection — then the answer is no.
5. If he says “yes” and — this is key — he acts like a boyfriend — you go out on dates and spend time together in both sexual and nonsexual contexts and he’s not seeing anyone else and he doesn’t want you to see anyone else — then the answer is yes.
And that’s it! That’s all there is to it. You don’t have to try to decode signals or decipher subtle hints. You don’t have to wonder if his saying he likes that you’re both Leos means he wants to be your boyfriend. That’s the beauty with being direct and simply asking someone what his feelings are! It takes the guess work out of the equation, and it prevents you from wasting time and investing energy in someone who doesn’t want the same thing you want.
And here’s a bonus just for you, LW: If a guy says he doesn’t know whether he wants a girlfriend or a maid, he wants a maid. But, like, one he doesn’t have to pay. And one who will have sex with him whenever he wants. If that’s what you want to be to him, you’re in luck because he’s totally in the market for that. But if what you want is something “more,” I have a feeling you’re going to be disappointed.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.