Where should I go with this? I do love him, but we have had an unstable past where I’ve kicked him out twice before over two other things with other women. I don’t want to start another load of fights as I’m looking to start a new job and need all my energy for this as it’s something I’ve never done before. I need peace of mind. I’ve no one to turn to as everyone just says to leave him. I just need a friendly ear and not a bloody lecture as this is what I get. — Looking for Peace of Mind
I mean, yeah, you should definitely leave him, but if you’ve got your heart set on staying with him and you don’t want drama and you want to save all your energy for your new job, I think you’ll have to accept that you’re not in a monogamous relationship; your partner sleeps with other women, has relationships with other women. Not cool with you? Leave him. Can’t leave him? Put up with the non-monogamy. No lecture but these genuinely are your only two options and you have to decide which is the lesser of two evils. Your friends and people who care about you think leaving him is the better option, but this is your life. You must do what will bring you the least amount of grief (so, probably leave him).
From the forums:
Honestly, if marrying someone you relate to as a maid, caregiver, full-time childcare provider, and personal assistant is a dream of yours, my advice is to dream bigger. He’s never going to marry you – he’s already getting everything he wants from you without the commitment. If marriage is your dream, maybe there’s a better partner for you. Actually, even if marriage isn’t your dream, I think there’s a better partner for you. Even if you never get married and never partner up with anyone else, maybe being single is better than being with this guy. Imagine having one less person to take care of hand and foot, and think of all the extra time you’ll have not filling out his job applications and doing his laundry. Imagine the psychic space that’ll be available when you aren’t filling it with thoughts on how to convince him to marry you when he’s already told you – probably many, many times over the course of nine years – that he doesn’t want to marry you. DREAM BIGGER than this.