Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I Need Your Updates, Please

Hey, have I (or the readers) given you advice in the past? Did you think it was stupid? Did you love it? Did you follow it or not? We want to hear how you’re doing today. If you’re willing to share, please send a link of the column in which your letter ran along with an update to wendy@dearwendy.com. Thanks!




15 comments… add one
  • Addie Pray March 8, 2012, 4:30 pm

    Especially if I happened to give you some pretty amazing, spot-on advice that you took and as a result everything worked out fabulously — I’d like to hear from you about that.

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  • call-me-hobo March 8, 2012, 5:09 pm

    Can you update on an update?

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    • Addie Pray March 8, 2012, 5:13 pm

      Yes. Especially if I provided some muy importante advice on the update that was well-received and you want to comment on that.

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    • Addie Pray March 8, 2012, 5:16 pm

      By the way, isn’t it neat that now you know me and I know you and we have faces and voices to go with our user names – and for you an adorable accent to boot? I think that’s neat.

      I’m feeling my usual dose of afternoon tipsiness. No idea why though.

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      • call-me-hobo March 8, 2012, 5:21 pm

        Hahahah, I love it! How goes the looming deadline?

      • Addie Pray March 8, 2012, 5:23 pm

        eh. your question just killed my buzz.

      • call-me-hobo March 8, 2012, 5:26 pm

        NOOOOOOO. I’M SO SORRY. Here- watch this… it will fix it!


      • Addie Pray March 8, 2012, 5:48 pm

        that made me feel better. it also made me really want crackers and goat cheese.

    • LadyinPurpleNotRed March 8, 2012, 5:29 pm

      call-me-hobo! There are too many of you on facebook and I can’t find you, but I did try…I didn’t just forget! (and yes, updates on updates are good too!)

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      • call-me-hobo March 8, 2012, 6:16 pm

        I didn’t get your last name- I tried to look you up, too.

      • LadyinPurpleNotRed March 8, 2012, 6:18 pm

        Success! 🙂

  • Marta March 8, 2012, 8:17 pm

    I am in Pizza UNO and having a chicken ceaser salad w/ anchovies. It tastes like they boiled the chicken with the anchovies. This is an insult to the ceaser salad!

    That is my update.

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    • Addie Pray March 8, 2012, 10:23 pm

      Well that’s because you went to a pizza place and ordered a salad!? Come with me, I will show you how to eat.

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  • britannia March 9, 2012, 1:35 am

    I’ll admit that once upon a time, I submitted a question. I was new to DW, and didn’t really understand the community here. Originally, I thought that Wendy had answered me privately, but much later on, she posted it. I came to realize that A LOT of detail is needed, otherwise the commenters here often will crucify you. Of course “crucify” is a strong word, but when it’s your own personal problem and you have people tearing apart every word of your letter and not giving you the benefit of the doubt (I think many LW’s deserve it, simply because it’s a common problem to have a hard time articulating yourself well), it’s very hard to not take it personally. It was funny to see just how far off-base some peoples’ perceptions of your relatively few sentences can take them, and also equally nice to see that some people can really just understand between the lines. It is so, so hard to accurately identify the true issue and explain your dilemma in a way that will make it easy for people to give you logical and unbiased advice. Actually, that’s something I’ve found is basically impossible, because most people give advice solely from their own perspectives. I took Wendy’s advice to me exactly as-is, and it ended up working well in the moment and the whole problem ended up not really mattering at all in the long run at all! Funny how hindsight is so Zen. Or 20/20.

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    • HmC March 9, 2012, 2:17 am

      That’s an interesting perspective Britannia, thanks for sharing it. I wanted to add something too, even though we’re probably the only people up right now (west coast, what!).

      Sometimes I feel like, when we make comments (and I am definitely including myself here), we end up projecting a LOT onto others. I’ve read comments that were not much more than a thinly veiled excuse for someone to validate a decision they made, or all too common, their relationship.

      There are so many insightful and intelligent comments too, which is why I love this community! And I do think that sometimes letters end up sparking discussions of issues not totally pertinent to a given letter, and those discussions are interesting and I enjoy them. But there are also comments that are unfair to some LW’s, and of those the ones that tend to irk me are the occasional ones where someone is addressing their thoughts to the LW, but is looking more for approval for some random choice they made. I guess it’s part of all of us to want to feel normal. I mean, don’t we all sort of get an adrenaline spike when someone’s letter discusses an issue that we have dealt with? Oh no, I hope I did the right thing, must defend that position vigorously!

      Anyway, I truly do think the commentary on this site is most often very constructive and interesting. These are just random thoughts that swirl around in this neurotic brain of mine. It’s an amazing thing, the human ego, and the human brain.

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