I didn’t get an invitation to my fiancé’s daughter’s baby shower. The mother is the one who sent the invitations. My fiancé asked his daughter about it and she said she had given her mother our address. I did receive an invite yesterday by text. From my fiancé’s daughter. I then got a call from his ex-wife saying she thought she mailed it. She also said baby showers aren’t fun anyway. I am hurt I wasn’t invited. Please help me make sense of this. — Only Invited by Text
Your fiance’s ex-wife probably didn’t care if you were at the shower or not and so didn’t send an invitation or conveniently “forgot” to send one. It sounds like your fiance’s daughter would like you there (she gave your address to her mother and she texted you when she learned you didn’t receive a regular invitation), and so, if you are up for it, go for her benefit and the benefit of your relationship with her. Be cordial to her mother and try to enjoy the shower even though “showers aren’t fun anyway.”
(Update: I received a reply from the LW after I sent her my advice and she said: “I’m not going. I wouldn’t feel right. Why, when things like this happen, do we have to turn the other way and be the better person? I know I’m so much better, but I’m not doing what makes others feel good — not this time.” So mature. What a great way to kick off a relationship with her soon-to-be stepdaughter).
I started dating this guy two years ago, and six months ago we moved in together. He’s met my entire family, including my children, but I have yet to meet his grown children. He says it’s because when we first started going out, about two months into our relationship, I blew him off to talk to my ex after hearing that he was suicidal. I knew it was a mistake, but he’s the father of my child. And I guess at the time I was concerned. Anyway, he says that I hurt him so badly that he’s making me pay for it — that he is still not over the pain I caused him. I’ve apologized and admitted that I was wrong, but he still throws this in my face occasionally. What can I do for him to feel secure enough to let me in and share his family with me? — Wrong to Check on Suicidal Ex
Um, yeah, you WERE NOT WRONG to check on your child’s suicidal father, and your boyfriend is being an immature, uncompassionate dickwad. Why on earth did you move in with him?! Honestly, if I were you, I’d re-evaluate the whole entire relationship, move out, and find someone who behaves like a civil and loving human being. But if you decide to stay with him, you need to accept that he’s just an asshole, that there’s probably another reason you haven’t met his family, and that, sooner or later, you’re going to find out the truth and it won’t be pretty.
I’m in a relationship with a man who is nice and has a lot to offer, but I’m not in love with him. I have a child with him and we can be co-parents and best friends, but I don’t love him enough to spend my life with him. Now I’m in love with a young man who made some bad choices by selling drugs and carrying concealed weapons when he was younger. So he’s a felon who does not have much to offer, but we love each other very much. I’m confused as to what I should do: be with the man who’s provided for and loved me, or be with the one who has a bad rap and cannot provide but with whom I’m in love? — In Love with a Felon
Neither. But since you will probably ignore that advice, at the very least keep the felon away from your kid, quit relying on other people to provide for you and your child, and provide for yourself.
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