You’re right that your friend probably has no idea what to expect with her first baby. If she did, surely she would know that a wedding four weeks after giving birth is a terrible idea — at least the sort of wedding that hinges on a dress fitting perfectly and every detail being met without a hitch. Unfortunately, if you and your friend’s mom have already tried to talk sense into her and she isn’t having it, then there probably isn’t much you can do … for now. But wait a few more weeks until she’s in her second trimester and try again then.
That’s because right now your friend’s hormones are raging, she’s likely exhausted, and probably feeling emotional and overwhelmed with all the upcoming changes in her life. By the time her second trimester rolls around, which should be the middle to end of March (assuming she’s due at the end of September), her hormones will be stabilizing a bit, the shock of her pregnancy will be settling in, and she will hopefully be more receptive to helpful advice. So, at that point, offer to take her out for a nice lunch or relaxing mani-pedi — some place where her defenses will be down and she won’t be so on-guard — and then tell her that as her best friend and bridesmaid you’d be remiss if you didn’t try one more time to persuade her to change her wedding date. As calmly as you can, lay out your reasons why moving the wedding up just a few months would make a world of difference, and be sure to let her know that whatever she decides, you’ve got her back and you’ll be there to support her.
Obviously, you can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, even if what she wants is completely idiotic. All you can do is express your opinion and hope it’s taken as you intend it. If your friend still refuses to change her wedding date, hang on tight and be prepared for a lot of tears and stress in the coming months. Clearly, this is a period where your friend is going to need you more than ever, so be there for her as much as you can, but set some boundaries, too, and remember that her life is not your life. She’s made her bed here and she’s gotta lie in it. You can try to make her comfortable, but it’s not your job to crawl in there with her. One more thing: this dress would look lovely on a bride with a baby bump and swollen boobs. Maybe you could show it to her in a few weeks to get the wheels turning? Good luck!
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected].