Guest columnists and contributors are generously sharing their talents and insights while I’m taking some time to care for my new baby. Today’s letter is answered by film and writing student, Callie Schuette.
Unfortunately, there is no magical phrase I can tell you to unleash on your boy that would guarantee you’d make the perfect first impression on him. No secret opening line to make him go all weak in the knees. What I can tell you, and I don’t mean to sound totally cheesy with this, is that confidence is key.
I mention this because there are some clear insecurities present in your letter, which is nothing to feel ashamed of as everyone has at least a few things they feel insecure about – especially in high school. Those upperclassmen who’ve made fun of your looks? They are incredibly insecure and unhappy with themselves. I know, because people who are happy don’t feel the need to put other people down. Only people desperate to feel better about themselves do that. Which is not to say what they’re doing or what they’ve said to you is okay. It’s not okay. I just want you to see that really, those mean things they’ve said may be DIRECTED at you, but they’re not ABOUT you. It’s just weak people trying to put their own ugliness on you.
Knowing that, I want you to try and disregard all the ugly things these people have said to you. I want you to look at yourself, and not to let their anger taint what you see. I want you to do this, because this is the first step to becoming the best and most attractive person you can be. If you can manage to see the value in yourself, to really start to love who you are, then you will have a huge edge over all your classmates.
How can you do it? Gradually. It can start with small things – things that make you feel pretty, or cool. Put together an outfit that makes you feel good, wear something that accents your hair and makes you feel proud to have it. Try to develop an in interest in music, or art, or even sports – things that will give you something to talk about and share with other people. If you can indulge in things that make you feel interesting and attractive, other people will start to see you that way too.
I know you’re thinking, “Great, but what do I do about my crush?” I can’t tell you whether or not you should go for it. It’s entirely up to you to take that leap. I can tell you that if you work on yourself and develop your confidence, you’ll be able to make your best first impression on him. And even if you don’t have an opportunity to talk to him, you will be much better off for the growing you’ve enabled yourself to do (and you may just find the “new and improved” you attracting the attention of other potential crushes). It’s all about the confidence.
*Callie is a 21-year-old student and aspiring comedic screenwriter from Austin, Texas. She’s pretty well-practiced in the art of giving advice (thanks to her friends, family, and the odd stranger) and attributes her enjoyment in doing so both to her deep sense of empathy and her somewhat nerdy love of analyzing things. She also enjoys excessively long car rides, sweet thai chili sauce, and space westerns.