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My 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been best friends since they were 4. Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me. My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law). The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue). She has no problem wearing high heels and has already been fitted for the dress, but I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter. I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding. My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect. All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter. Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?
You can read Prudences’ advice here. Mine is below:
The only person who can — and perhaps should — be asked to “sit out” is YOU for being so incredibly shallow, thoughtless, tactless, and sorely lacking of compassion and empathy. That you care more about the appearance of a walk down an aisle than the feelings of two women you consider family shows an amazing lack of regard for humanity, and I’m not at all surprised that you are not very close to your daughter, and I wouldn’t be shocked if your relationship deteriorates further. Shame on you.