This letter appeared in a Dear Prudence column last week and I thought you’d find it an interesting topic for discussion:
Prudie suggested flipping a coin, which, um, ok. My advice is below:
Go! Take the job! Dream jobs don’t come around all that often, and, while potential dream boyfriends don’t either, you can conduct a long-distance relationship probably a lot more easily than you can telecommute to this new gig in a BFN (bum fuck nowhere). Or maybe you CAN telecommute? If that is at all a possibility, you could ask, but only ask with the understanding that doing so may show you aren’t as interested in the position as someone who would be willing to move for it.
If you take the job and you move, here are some tips for surviving a long-distance relationship. If you can have an end date in mind and an exit plan — say, you want to stay at the job two years with the idea that the experience you gain will help you get a great job back in the city — and are able to see each other regularly, a LDR doesn’t have to be terrible. It can be quite do-able. And if you think that, after just two months together, you and your new boyfriend aren’t ready to commit to an exclusive LDR, keep it non-exclusive. That might be even better. You can have a chance to go out with other people and see if there’s a connection with someone closer that’s just a strong. Or, you may find that distance makes the heart grow fonder and the miles between will you actually help foster intimacy and commitment a little faster than if you were both in the same city.
Readers, have any of you ever been faced with this decision? What did you do? How did it work out?
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].