I love him very much and know he would never want to hurt me. We’re both in our 20s and have expressed our devout love for each other.
My boyfriend is the sweetest guy and truly makes me a happier person, but I don’t know if I can fully trust and be in love with him after he hit me. I feel partly responsible for what happened that night, but I know I didn’t deserve to be hit.
Is my boyfriend an abuser? He has been nothing but caring and supportive and shows no other signs of being abusive. What should I do? — TAKEN ABACK OUT WEST
You can read Dear Abby’s insane advice here. My advice follows:
There’s only one person who is responsible for your boyfriend hitting you and that’s your boyfriend. Don’t give him an opportunity to do it again. MOA. If it turns out this was a one-time thing and he never hits another person for as long as he lives, then great — you won’t be hit by him again. If it turns out this is a sign of a problem that will rear it’s head over and over, you won’t be in his path when it does. Leaving him is the best way to ensure your boyfriend never, ever lays a hand on you again.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.