Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Introducing: “Am I Dating a Weirdo?”

In yesterday’s “His Take” column, Andrew (or “Drew”, as I call him — my husband, for those who haven’t made the connection) took on the LW’s question in a new fashion. He applied a little game he invented called “Am I Dating a Weirdo?” in which he used clues from the letter to help the writer figure out once and for all if she was, in fact, dating a weirdo. In this particular case, the answer was “no” — it was a shaky “no,” but a “no” nonetheless.

Andrew is kindly offering up his services to anyone else who may be wondering if he or she is dating a weirdo. Simply send in your letters with a description of the person you’re dating, including questionable behavior traits, and he’ll break things down for you lickety-split. Send your letters to my address (wendy@dearwendy.com) with the subject line “Am I Dating a Weirdo?” and I’ll make sure Drew gets them. You must be OK with us publishing your letter, of course, and as always, all names will be changed.

This should be fun!

27 comments… add one
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    bittergaymark August 12, 2011, 2:33 pm

    This will be fun. It will be interesting to see just how many of the LWs are, in fact, dating weirdos… Even more fun — of course — will be the follow up emails with “crucial” details that the LW’s will no doubt insist prove that they are NOT dating a weirdo…

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  • SGMcG August 12, 2011, 2:44 pm

    How is Drew defining “weirdo”? Because there’s the stalkerish, scary type of weirdo that you may need to MOA from, or the one who’s more quirkier than the mainstream that you can take home to meet your parents, as well as a whole range of weirdo in between? Personally, I’m of the belief that there’s a little bit of weirdo in everyone (myself included – and I love my husband, who is weird in his own right), yet the important thing to watch is if the person is still able to be a functioning member of society despite the weirdo within.

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      Budjer August 12, 2011, 2:52 pm

      Hopefully when someone is bucketed as a weirdo there is an explanation of the degree of weirdness.

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      • Painted_lady August 12, 2011, 3:42 pm

        Yeah, hopefully it’s like the pain scale you see in the ER. 0-10, 0 being “so un-weird he may be Ted Bundy” to 10 being “Is currently staked out in front of your house creating a shrine to you sculpted out of potted meat and sweet pickles and regularly harvests hair from your brush so as to hang onto your ‘essence.'”

        Also like the pain scale I would like it to have associated faces that get progressively more bizarre.

        Fortunately painted_dude digs my weirdness.

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    Landygirl August 12, 2011, 3:13 pm

    I don’t need to ask, I know I’m dating a weirdo, but I’m one too.

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    • Britannia August 13, 2011, 12:00 am

      Same here.

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    • MsMisery August 15, 2011, 10:11 am

      I was gonna say… I think we’re all weirdos. You just have to find your complimentary weirdo (and not the psycho-stalker kind either).

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  • PFG-SCR August 12, 2011, 4:07 pm

    I’m already married, so I’d rather not even know at this point…ignorance is bliss.

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    • Caris August 12, 2011, 7:51 pm


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  • lemongrass August 12, 2011, 4:25 pm

    My husband tells me that I am the perfect amount of weirdo for him.

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  • sweetleaf August 12, 2011, 4:44 pm

    Ha this is a great idea. yesterday Drew’s response was great 🙂

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  • Cherry August 12, 2011, 5:11 pm

    I never made that connection! You are a lucky girl. I picture the two of you sitting around fixing each others problems with sound advice over a cup of tea and a game of Canasta. Too cute!!

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  • TrixyMinx August 12, 2011, 8:34 pm

    I really could have used Drew’s advice about two months ago. lol

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  • mcminnem August 12, 2011, 11:08 pm

    I already know I’m dating a weirdo – between the two of us we sometimes have this critical mass of weirdness where we just break down and make odd noises at each other until we forget what we were talking about. We had an entire conversation in seal noises yesterday.

    When I opened my dating profile online, my mother’s advice was: “I hope you’re picky, because I want you to find Mr. Right, but not too picky, because you’re weird. And I don’t know if you’ll ever find someone as weird as you.”
    …yeah, thanks, mom.
    A few months later she met my now boyfriend, and after we had repeatedly and unintentionally given the same (kooky) answers to her questions, she looked at him and said “are you imitating her on purpose?” And he goes, “no, I’ve always been this weird.”

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    • TinyLady August 13, 2011, 1:44 pm

      I love this! What you have is what I hope for in love, haha 🙂

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  • Chuck Pelto August 14, 2011, 2:24 pm

    TO: All
    RE: Weirdos R US

    This whole country is made up of ‘weirdos’. As Bill Murray describes US in that classic send-up of the US Army….

    We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog. We’re mutts!….So we’re all dogfaces, we’re all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We’re mutants. There’s something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us.

    It’s not a question of whether or not we’re ‘weird’. Rather, it’s whether or not your weirdness is incompatible with someone elses weirdness. Or whether or not one of the two is a sociopath or—worse—psychopath.


    P.S. Thoughts in this message are weirder than they appear.

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    • Chuck Pelto August 14, 2011, 8:46 pm


      ….someone disagrees, eh.

      Too bad. The reality IS the situation amongst US. Whether or not you ‘Agree or Disagree’.

      [The Truth will out….]

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  • Archaeopteryx August 14, 2011, 2:45 pm

    Like any term of social condition,it’s quite impossible to define “weirdo.”
    I would prefer to think of myself as “charmingly eccentric.”
    Now if could only find a lady of parallel eccentricity…

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  • Peter August 14, 2011, 3:25 pm

    How about a “Am I married to a weirdo” test?
    My wife does jigsaw puzzles while watching The Devil Wears Prada, she knows it by heart and says she doesn’t have to see it to enjoy it, is that weird?

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  • JR August 14, 2011, 3:45 pm

    This is a bizarre judgment exercise. If you’re incapable of judging whether someone is a weirdo for you, you’re incapable of choosing who to date at all. How can a letter describing someone’s weird traits possibly exceed the information available to the first person observer? In general, this exercise just goes to demonstrate that this is another error of that megadomain of weirdoism, a.k.a., psychology.

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  • Kyle Haight August 14, 2011, 3:43 pm

    Shortly after getting married I mentioned to my mother-in-law that my parents had introduced me to the music of Tom Lehrer at the age of 7. Her instant response was, and I quote, “Oh, that explains it.” So yeah, I’m weird. But so is my wife, so it works out great.

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  • Sass August 14, 2011, 6:26 pm

    If you have to ask, you already know the answer. If you’re asking because something doesn’t feel right, then trust your instincts and get the hell away. If you’re asking because you’re worried about what your friends/family will think of him, then get the hell away before you cause him more pain. If you’re asking because you think you might have found a soulmate in weirdness, my heartiest congratulations.

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  • Stickysweet August 14, 2011, 6:46 pm

    This should be fun. My wife likes me precisely because I’m different (love euphemisms too). I tend to think it is because I’m weird that she feels safe with me. She knows I love her and she loves me too. But I’m kind of a nice kind of weird: I like working with magnets, I like to camp out and watch meteors and count satellites at night. I tend to make bad puns. And she laughs or gives me a pained look, then slowly smiles knowingly.

    I don’t try to be different, but somehow I just am. I find the people like me and we have a good time. There are more of them than people think.

    I’m guessing that you guys will be analyzing the type of weird that may be actually detrimental to a relationship, but I hope you can help those who are dating someone that is a nice kind of weird. Based on the stories my wife brings home from the places she’s worked, there are a large contingent of women that would have been much happier with me. I’ve been married 35 years, and my name above is what my wife prefers to call me to describe the more conventional “honey”.

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  • Robert August 15, 2011, 4:14 am

    My lover smells of rotting meat and is obsessed with consuming uncooked flesh and brains in particular. Am I dating a weirdo?

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    • Chuck Pelto August 15, 2011, 11:04 am

      TO: Robert
      RE: Well….

      ….can you see their reflection in a mirror?

      That might be a ‘key indicator’ of some form.

      On the other hand, do you have the same predilections?



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    • AKchic August 15, 2011, 5:05 pm

      No, your lover is not a weirdo. Your lover is a zombie. If you continue to have sex with this individual, you are a necrophiliac for doing so.

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  • AKchic August 15, 2011, 1:20 pm

    But… but… what if the LW is the weirdo?!

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