At the time he leaves, we will have been together for four months. Is it too soon to consider having a long distance relationship? We have discussed our options already and have decided to decide together at a later date. What should we do? — LDR Already?
No, it’s absolutely not too early to discuss having a long distance relationship. My relationship with my now-husband began as an LDR, so we didn’t even have the benefit of months together before introducing distance between us and I’d say we still managed to be pretty successful as a couple (as evidenced by five and half years together, two and a half years of marriage, and one cute baby). In order for you and your boyfriend — and anyone else considering an LDR — to be successful, you need several things, including an end date, which it sounds like you have.
Six months isn’t very long at all. If you really like this guy and have potential for a future together, six months is just a drop in the bucket. But that doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to make it work. You have to want to make it work and you have to be on the same page. Take a look at my “15 Tips for Surviving a Long Distance Relationship” article and in addition to establishing an end date, pay particular attention to number three: establishing ground rules. Will you two remain monogamous while you’re apart or will you date other people in the interim? It’s extremely important you agree on this point. And while it sounds like you won’t be able to visit each other (tip number four), hopefully you can use technology (like Skype) to keep in close contact while you’re apart.
One other thing that will benefit you as a couple is focusing on your present. Don’t let the threat of whatever may or may not happen in the future ruin what you’ve got right now. Enjoy the time you have together and try not to worry too much about the day he leaves and how you’ll get through six months (or more) apart. These months you have together are a gift and if you treat them as such and try not to fret about what the future holds, you’ll have a much stronger foundation to withstand the distance between you.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected] and be sure to follow me on Twitter.