I mean, your situation isn’t like this one, fortunately, as that one doesn’t seem to allow any space for a new relationship. It sounds like things are moving at a reasonable pace with someone you’ve known for six months and who is still not legally divorced. I understand being eager to move things forward, but don’t rush this very big step. It’s not just the two of you who have a big stake in this relationship; your kids – particularly the four who are still minors living at home – have big stakes in this relationship, too. Should you actually buy a house with Eric and build a future together, you’re going to want the strongest foundation possible, and you should trust Eric when it comes to figuring out the timing of introducing you to his children.
If Eric isn’t ready yet to introduce you to his kids – and it doesn’t seem he is – then it’s for a reason. You can ask him what that reason is and whether he has a timeframe in mind, but don’t push him to make this happen before he’s ready or before he thinks his kids would be ready. And definitely don’t push to meet the kids under false pretenses like pretending you’re just a friend when, secretly, you have hopes of living with their father as his partner in a matter of months (also a timeframe you might want to reconsider with the kids’ best interests in mind).
So the questions: When is it too long a time to go without sex with your significant other? I’m feeling unwanted, and honestly I am contemplating breaking it off unless things suddenly change. Should I shut up and work on me being nicer instead of expecting our sex life to turn around on its own? — Ready to Bang
Since you and your boyfriend are in intense graduate programs, I am guessing you are young, or young-ish. Maybe after 30? And at a young age, especially, it would be unusual to experience the lack of libido you’re describing unless there’s a physical or mental issue. If there’s not, then the lack of sex is a symptom of something going on in your relationship.
If you were married or lived together or had a child together or otherwise had invested in a commitment together, I’d suggest some things that might help you find your way back to each other, but given that you all have only been dating a year and this problem has lasted over half that time, I think you should just cut your losses and move on.