A recent article in New York magazine quotes a study by Ohio State University researchers who found that a whopping “82 percent of couples who’d dated long-distance and then moved to the same city ended up breaking up.” And a separate study found that “a third of those breakups occur within three months of the couple’s reunion.” Researchers found that “many of the individuals actually missed aspects of their long-distance relationship, particularly their own autonomy and the novelty of only getting to see their partner every once in a while.” Since LDRs are more common than ever, due in large part to modern technology and the ease in which we can meet and keep in touch with people far away, I thought it would be interesting to poll readers who have had LDRs and find out how often their relationships ended or succeeded once the separation was over.
As most of you know, my husband, Drew, and I started off long-distance (I lived in Chicago and he lived in NYC when we met), but, when I moved in with him after a year and a half, we managed to make it work. It wasn’t always easy — I did miss some of my autonomy and I certainly missed the friends and life I left in Chicago — but the novelty of seeing Drew every day and not waiting weeks until our next visit never got old. Maybe that was the key. We actually really, really loved spending time together (still do, fortunately), and, above everything else, that was a guiding force for us. We’d also been lucky enough to spend a lot of time together even while long-distance due to flexible schedules and (at the time) cheap airline tickets. Visiting each other every 2-3 weeks over the course of a year and a half ensured that we weren’t just seeing idealized versions of each other and that at least some of our relationship had a basis in reality, even if that reality wasn’t the same one we’d eventually inhabit when we lived together (but then, when is the early stage of a relationship just like the reality of a more established relationship?).
Anyhoo, if you’ve been in a long-distance relationship where the distance eventually ended because one or both of you moved, would you share with us on how things worked out (in the poll below and in the comments if you want). Thanks!