Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Monday Links and Open Thread

Jan Buchzcik for The Atlantic

Happy Monday. How was everyone’s Valentine’s Day? I don’t think I left the house, but it wasn’t a bad day as far as these winter pandemic days go. Drew and I both become eligible for the vaccine at midnight and managed to nab a couple appointments for later in the month, so everything after that was a bonus. I gave Drew a pizza pan and picked up some dough and sauce from a favorite local pizza spot, and he practiced making us pizza for dinner. And I got the bath products I asked for since baths are like my sole luxury these days and I like to indulge in one a few days a week. Now, it’s mid-winter break for the kids, so no remote school this week which is both a blessing and a curse since there are so few things to actually do with our time, but the kids desperately needed a break from the tedium of zoom school.

It’s hard to believe we’re coming up on the one-year anniversary of Covid, and while I know we’re all hitting a wall, I’m starting to feel hopeful that we’re going to have a nice summer. Nationally, the US is up to 1.7 million vaccines a day, on average, and Dr. Fauci said a few days ago that he believes by July there will be enough vaccine for every adult who wants one. (Trials on kids are in various phases still and have not yet begun for those under 10. But even so, much progress has been made on the vaccine front, and I do think we’re well on our way to more normal times, thankfully.) We just have to push through the next couple months…

Anyhoo, if you’re in a reading mood, here are a few links from around the web that might be of interest:

The Type of Love That Makes People Happiest

Your Husband Cheated. Should You Be Able to Sue His Mistress?

Five People Discuss Dating During the Pandemic

Kamala Harris’ marriage could challenge a racial taboo

‘I don’t want friends who put others at risk’: has lockdown wrecked friendships?

And related to a conversation in the forums: Sorry, millennials: The ‘laugh cry’ emoji isn’t cool anymore, according to Gen Z

And also: The Skinny Jean Is Dead: The 5 Denim Styles You Need Now

25 comments… add one
  • ktfran February 15, 2021, 10:39 am

    What bath products did you get? I still order those Japanese bath salts you suggested years ago.

    I read the mistress suing article yesterday, crazy!!

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      Dear Wendy February 15, 2021, 10:45 am

      I still love the Japanese bath salts too! I am blanking on the name of the products Drew got me and am too lazy to go downstairs to the bathroom to check, but when I make my way down there in a bit – it *is* almost time to put the towels in the dryer – I’ll check.

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        Dear Wendy February 15, 2021, 1:51 pm

        It’s called Indie Lee I-receiver body soak. Made my skin really soft!

        If you like bubbles, try Rituals of Sakura bubble bath. Got that in my stocking for Christmas and it makes tons of bubbles.

      • ktfran February 15, 2021, 2:05 pm

        Thanks!! I’ll check both out.

        Pre-covid, I took one to two baths per/week. It has increased quite a bit. They’re also my quality “me” time.

      • anonymousse February 15, 2021, 4:42 pm

        Thanks for asking this! And thanks for the product recommendations, Wendy. I basically take a bath everyday because it’s the only time I get to myself.

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        Dear Wendy February 15, 2021, 5:32 pm


  • Kate February 15, 2021, 11:04 am

    Wow, Elle really saying that skinny jeans became uncool when they became stretchy to accommodate larger / diverse bodies. Ok then. Not even sure that makes sense, since jogging shave been around at least 10 years. Fuck off. Also, most of the jeans shown in that article have nothing to do with the kind of life we live now. Eat shit Elle.

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    • Kate February 15, 2021, 11:05 am

      *jeggings have been around.

      Fuck Apple too.

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      TheLadyE February 15, 2021, 9:33 pm

      My sentiments exactly. Also, those barrel-legged jeans are ugly AF.

      None of those styles would look at all good on me, or from what I can tell, on anyone with any shape to them. You’d have to be tall and thin to pull off any of those, and they still look stupid even then.

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        Bittergaymark February 16, 2021, 12:46 pm

        The Barrel Legged jeans are indeed hilariously ghastly. As are the “Look, okay! I’m STILL learning to sew”Assymetrical Jeans. ???

      • ele4phant February 16, 2021, 1:16 pm

        It does make you think – why, for the past 50-60 years – have we as a society taken our cultural cues from teenagers?

        Teenagers are idiots that just want to stake out an identity that’s contrary to those that came before. Why does our pop culture think it’s a good idea to emulate them?

        This isn’t specific to any one generation – millennials were idiots ten years ago, Gen X idiots twenty years ago, etc. We’ve all been there, we all (well most, some people never progress) eventually mature and go “God, what morons we were.”

        Before the 1950s, there was no such thing as a teenager – you were an immature child until you were a mature adult.

    • LisforLeslie February 16, 2021, 7:49 am

      Oh is that the reason? Not because they change the style every few years because once we have our closets full of style A they can switch to Style B and encourage us to buy all new jeans and shirts and blouses and whatevers to keep us “stylish”? Well us fattie-boombalatties are an unprotected target so I guess I’ll just have to take the blame.

      As for me – I know what works on me and I don’t give a flying fark if it’s “in” .

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  • ele4phant February 15, 2021, 12:59 pm

    As an older millenial, ah, to have the energy to track and care about what is considered cool.

    Have fun while it lasts Gen Zers, before you know it you too will have demanding careers, families, mortgages, and all those grown-up that will suck up all that excess mental energy (and money) you have.

    I’m happy to let another generation take over the arbitration of what’s cool – I never really had the time or interest, I definitely don’t now.

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    • allathian February 17, 2021, 7:26 am

      Me neither, and I’m firmly in the Gen X camp.

      The only time I even remotely cared about fashion was when I was in high school. I wasn’t one of the cool girls but I wanted Levi’s jeans. Nothing else would do for me, and that motivated me enough to get my first retail job. My parents would feed and clothe me but they weren’t willing to pay big bucks for fashion.

      I found my style years ago and I’m sticking to it, fashionable or not.

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  • Mel February 15, 2021, 2:07 pm

    I’ve never been “cool,” I don’t decide what to do or like based on its “coolness,” and I’m not gonna start now. ?

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  • Karebear1813 February 15, 2021, 2:35 pm

    I dont care what Gen Zers think when I continue to wear skinny jeans that are stretchy and part my hair to the side! I do what makes me feel good! Sorry I’m not gonna rock the little house on the prairie country 90s looks with straight legged white wash jeans that would make me look unflattering.

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  • Karebear1813 February 15, 2021, 3:00 pm

    I read “Your Husband Cheated. Should You Be Able to Sue His Mistress?”
    YIKES! As much as I don’t agree with cheating and cheaters, this just seems like a bit extreme. This seems more revengeful/spiteful and seems like it would cause the victims more pain and anger. I’ve learned you cant make someone love you and care about you so why continue to give them anymore of your time.

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    • ron February 16, 2021, 1:10 pm

      Suits for alienation of affection used to be not uncommon, but it usually was men being sued. It’s an obnoxious concept today. If your spouse strays that’s on the spouse. It’s a remnant from the days when legally women weren’t much more than property. Cheating is bad, far better and cleaner to end the relationship you’re not happy with, before lining up and bedding the replacement in a selfish effort to avoid being the one between relationships when you split. Today we recognize that marriages as well as engagements end, that affection may dwindle, that couples may discover gross incompatibilities. Alienation of affections suits were from a time when divorce barely happened.

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  • ktfran February 15, 2021, 3:17 pm

    Off topic, the husband and I watched Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar on Saturday. It’s absurd. It’s ridiculous. And I LOVED it. I needed a new comedy. This did it for me. It made me smile. That’s all I needed.

    It also made me desperately want to see my friends.

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      TheLadyE February 15, 2021, 9:35 pm

      Off topic as well, but I watched ALL of Firefly Lane on Netflix this weekend and it was incredibly good. Highly recommended. Also made me want to see my friends. 🙂

      Katherine Heigl has gotten a bad rap in Hollywood. She’s a very talented actress and I’m glad she’s been given the ability to star in this show.

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      • SM February 16, 2021, 8:55 am

        Fantastic show! I have one episode left! Katherine Heigl does an amazing job in it!

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      Copa February 16, 2021, 10:34 am

      Haven’t seen the show, but this past weekend, I did feel like I was missing out on Galentine’s, which I’ve done the past few years. Last year a few of us did a wine stroll at local businesses in Lakeview. I suppose it may have been different this year notwithstanding since my galentines crew from the past couple years all had babies and then moved to the burbs, but I’m with you on wanting to see friends.

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    Kicia February 16, 2021, 2:28 pm

    I would not take advice on trends from the generation that ate Tide pods.

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    • ron February 16, 2021, 3:58 pm

      Better than the member of my generation who pushed bleach drinking or injection to beat Covid.

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  • Ange February 16, 2021, 7:26 pm

    As I move into my 40s I’m becoming the human embodiment of Abe Simpson apparently:

    ‘I used to be’ with it’ but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ and what is ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me’

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