I think my irritation stems from a number of other things as well and not just the money he spends. For example, I go out of my way to do what he prefers, so as not to upset him, and, if I get invited out somewhere, it’s expected that I always invite him, as he takes it personally if I don’t, or I am expected not to go. Then, he always seems to have a dig at my friends (and actually even his friends). Also, when he returned a week ago from London, he brought his kids a ton of stuff, which I didn’t mind as I really adore them like crazy. But I went out of my way to look after his house and dog all on my own when I have my own home and when the house next to his had just been broken into two days before he left, and he brought me nothing from London, not even a chocolate or lip ice. Finally, tonight he says he is again flying from Cape Town to England this week to attend a big racing event and, when I mentioned that I think it’s a bit extravagant to make a trip like this again after only two weeks, he said, as more of a statement than a question, “Well, what’s it got to do with you.”
I am not sure what to think. Am I being foolish, insecure, or just plain needy? — Too Needy?
Craig is a thoughtless dick — you watch his house and dog for him and don’t even get a token thank-you gift? He makes digs at your friends? And his friends? Dick. He is right, though, that the money he spends on himself isn’t really your business. You aren’t married; you don’t live together or have kids together or share expenses. But the fact that you feel like he doesn’t spend enough time with you or acknowledge your feelings is certainly valid. Have you expressed to him that your feelings are hurt? If not, try that and see if it gets you anywhere. But, honestly, it doesn’t sound like you’re much of a match, and the guy sounds like a jerk. I’d move on and let him pay a professional dog-sitter while he’s on on his many trips rather than use you to fill that role.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].