Fortunately, money isn’t an issue and we don’t have kids yet (we are all in our early-to-mid 30s) and we all like each other’s partners. We live within 10 minutes of one another in a major city with lots to do and mild weather…so what’s the deal? Our single friends are always up for hanging out and I see them quite a bit, but I would like to hang out more regularly with all of my friends. Any ideas on why this is? Any suggestions for getting people together on a more regular basis? — More Than Once a Week, Please
Just because you all are kid-free and don’t have to worry about money doesn’t mean that meeting up once a week is desirable, or even practical, among your friend-group. First of all, if you’re talking about more than two people meeting up, I imagine schedule conflicts can become problematic. One person has Pilates two or three times a week after work and someone else has a dentist appointment and then another person just started weekly therapy sessions and, before you know it, it’s just impossible to find one day a week that everyone is available to hang out, even for a quick happy hour.
My advice is to focus on getting together in smaller groups or one-on-one with these old friends while, at the same time, continuing to make new friends whose availability and interests in dinners out, happy hours, bar-hopping, and movies more closely match yours. There’s a strong possibility that for your friends entering their mid-30s those activities just aren’t as important anymore (or they’d just rather do those things with their partners in the free time they have). There’s also a possibility that some of your coupled-up girlfriends may be trying to get pregnant/ are already pregnant (and not telling yet) and are trying to avoid boozy situations that might blow their cover. Whatever the case may be, it seems that, yes, getting everyone together once a week IS too much to ask, and, rather than bemoan that, I say enjoy the time you are able to get together and be grateful you have single friends who are “always up for getting together.”
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].