I’ve never gone near another man or have ever cheated. This is the first time “cheating” has ever been brought up. He’s so heartbroken, and I’m starting to feel really guilty about the situation. My questions for you are: How can I win him back and make him see it was a harmless kiss — nothing more than a bit of fun? Our relationship has basically just started and I don’t want to lose it over this. — I Kissed a Girl
If your relationship has “basically just started,” and you’ve already had a series a “ups and downs,” capped off by this latest down in which your boyfriend called you a cheater, it’s time for you to cut your losses and move on already. A relationship with this much drama this early on is not one that will sustain real problems (instead of made-up, manufactured ones). Plus, you already have one three-year-old; you don’t need a man-child pressing the same buttons a toddler does with his drama queen bullshit. Seriously, move on. And maybe next time don’t send videos of your every move when you’re away for a weekend. A quick phone call or text in the morning and again at night to say “hi” should suffice for a short weekend away.
Is there a way to answer Rebecca without hurting our relationship? — Grandma In The Middle
Your granddaughter sounds entitled and selfish, and maybe that is a result of poor parenting (or, as you argue, poor mothering), but at some point a grown woman needs to take responsibility for her own actions and behavior. To accept money from her father to pay for her wedding while telling him his girlfriend isn’t invited is such a spoiled, ungrateful, childish way to behave, and I hope your son won’t enable that kind of behavior. I am so sorry you were dragged into the middle of it and that you are already estranged from your other two granddaughters. They should feel so fortunate to have a living grandmother who’s interested in being part of their lives. I hope in time they appreciate was a gift that is.
In the meantime, you want to know what to say to your granddaughter who has asked you to talk to her father on her behalf. I say tell her you’ll encourage your son to try to work things out with her, but that he’s way too old to be told what to do by his mother. If she continues pressing you, just stick with that line: “He’s too old to be told be told by his mother how to live his life. All I can do is love you both and encourage you to work this out.” I have a feeling your granddaughter is the kind of person for whom the money is going to talk, and that your son’s girlfriend will be sitting next to him at the wedding. Please keep us posted!
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com.