My daughter and I have a very close but respectful relationship. My girlfriend told me that it is inappropriate and uncomfortable for her to see and she won’t allow it in her house. I personally don’t see it this way. I think there may be some hidden issues on her part that makes her feel this way.
Any thoughts? — Dating Agitated
Your girlfriend definitely has some issues to work out, and I would protect yourself and, most importantly, your daughter from her in the meantime. Tell her that you found her remarks unacceptable and that, after thinking about it, you’ve decided you cannot continue seeing someone who sexualizes innocent and affectionate interactions between a father and daughter. Tell her you care about her and hope she works through whatever might be causing her to see perfectly normal and healthy interactions in such a depraved way, but that you won’t be around to support her through that process.
To make matters worse, he’s told my brother-in-law, at his wedding to my sister, that he still cared for me and would get back to together with me if he wasn’t worried abut how that would affect my freedom. I told him I didn’t want anyone but him, but it’s been a year. I’m tired of waiting, but I don’t want to ruin a chance to get back together with him.
What do I do? — Feeling Guilty
It’s a new year, my dear. Make it one in which you cut the bullshit and just go for what you want. You want the guy? He’s expressed interest in being back together with you? You still love him? Just freakin’ tell him already. If he bites, great. If he doesn’t, his loss. Either way, it’s time to move on with your life. This waiting around drama like you think it will prevent you from ruining your chance at getting together is silly. You’re either meant to get back together or you aren’t. (And, at the very least, making an attempt to get back together will clear your conscience for any future flirting or dating someone else if this guy rejects you.)
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com.