It sounds like they’re on very friendly terms, which is wonderful for their family! Unfortunately, you sound jealous of and threatened by their friendship — to the point that you think one of them should have sold his or her concert ticket to the other in order to avoid going together simply because your “girl” is now dating you? I mean, it would be one thing if the tickets were purchased after you two were an established couple, I guess, but to act all put out because they aren’t changing their plans now that you’re in the picture is childish. Regardless, you don’t like that the ex is around and you think your girlfriend, with whom you’ve already been through the “I love you stage,” gives all her attention to him, so you should probably move on and then maybe avoid single parents in the future or anyone who’s still in touch with an ex.
My family encourages me to get out of this mess. And in broad daylight I know that’s best for me. But sometimes at night I just wake up thinking that once I sign those papers I will never again see my husband and the home and family I tried to build.
I wish I could just turn off my life like a bad tv program. — In Broad Daylight
Absolutely, it’s both ok and normal to miss someone you’ve loved even when you know the relationship was dysfunctional and not right for you. Endings are often very hard, even when we know they’re necessary. What you’re feeling now is grief, and there will be stages you have to go through to get to the other side. There’s no shortcut, although you may move through some stages more quickly than others. Talk through your feelings with loved ones you trust and even a therapist if you think you need the added support. You WILL get through this, and you will be stronger and better for it. On the other side is the promise of better stability and the opportunity to find a partner who is a better match.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com.