I never feel welcomed around her or the rest of his family, with the exception of his sister who is my age. They will intentionally try to exclude me from family pictures or anything to do with their family. For this Thanksgiving, my boyfriend is working and his mother still hasn’t invited me. What do I do? Should I still invite myself and go or just not even try and only go to my family’s instead? — Excluded From His Family
You should not invite yourself to someone’s Thanksgiving celebration, nor should you invite yourself to your boyfriend’s family’s at all if they are not explicitly inviting you. (You should also not force yourself into family pictures or anything else that your boyfriend’s family “try to exclude you from”). Your boyfriend should be asking, when they invite him over, whether you are invited, too. If you are not, you should not go (and your boyfriend needs to think about whether to go or not to some place where the person he’s engaged to isn’t welcome).
You not getting along with his family is a big deal and you should not be even considering marriage until you have some resolution about it. I wonder if they might think you two are too young to be so serious and if that is part of why they aren’t welcoming you with open arms. At any rate, it’s your boyfriend’s job to get to the bottom of his family’s feelings toward you and to do the work to smooth the tension between you. Your job is to let him do this and to stop going to his family’s get-togethers when you aren’t invited (ESPECIALLY if your boyfriend isn’t going, and I can’t underscore that enough). Spend Thanksgiving with your family where your presence is — hopefully — welcomed and wanted.
Should I just let it go and just be satisfied that he is willing to delete them? I think a majority of these women were already in his friends list way before he and I became a couple. What should I do? — Leery of His Facebook Friends List
Re-read your first sentence and think about what advice you’d give a close friend who made the same sort of statement to you. I can tell you what I would say: No guy who is good boyfriend material has a bunch of female Facebook “friends” whom he doesn’t actually know who post half-naked pictures of themselves on the daily. It’s a creepy thing to do and is such a screaming red flag that it might as well be number one on the list of signs your boyfriend is a dirty dog and probably going to chronically cheat on you if ever given the chance. Honestly, women, if some guy wants to date you, let alone be your boyfriend, but has a public Facebook friends list full of half naked women: Run.