The real waste of time isn’t pursuing women your own age — although I can certainly appreciate that you’ve likely had bad luck with women who have enough experience to sniff out the bullshit very quickly; the real waste of time is being so rigid in your expectations. It’s laughable that you think women 10-15 years younger than you should even be interested in you (ahem, Robert), period, but you want someone polite and decent and really interesting on top of it? Come on, it’s nearly 2020 — women don’t have to be polite and decent and put up with the bullshit of guys like you anymore because we’ve been liberated (sort of!). Most of us are indecent and rude AF now — or, in your words, “losers” — which I think probably just means unimpressed with you.
Look, I know old farts still think it’s charming enough to be “financially very well-off” to attract the ladies, but if you want quality women, you’ve got to bring a lot more than a fat wallet to the table. For one thing, modern women are doing pretty well themselves and, in general, aren’t looking for sugar daddies. Besides an extra 10-15+ years of baggage, what else can you offer? If you want someone so much younger, who is going to be in high demand, you gotta hit some high notes yourself: a hot bod, good looks, charm, humor, intelligence, and the know-how and motivation to cook us a delicious meal. Without seeing a picture of you or knowing anything about you beyond what you’ve shared in the note above, I’d be willing to wager a lot of money that you offer none of these things. You probably even voted for Trump. Actually! Come to think of it: a Trump rally might be a good place for you to pick up like-minded women. Their bullshit detectors are clearly broken and, apparently, the presence of a boorish man who thinks he’s entitled to whatever he wants, even if it threatens the very existence of our planet, doesn’t leave them running for the hills. Good luck!
I think that after 25 years with your wife, you should have a pretty good sense of where you stand with her and if spending Thanksgiving without you in a home where you aren’t welcome is a reflection of her feelings and her loyalty for you – and it seems it is — divorce is probably a good option for you. In the meantime, maybe you can volunteer your services this Thanksgiving? I’m sure there are plenty of people who’d welcome a chaplain’s kindness and compassion if you have any to spare this year.
I wouldn’t necessarily view this sudden feeling, which has immediately come to consume you, as a reflection of your true feelings for your ex-wife, but I would definitely reconsider where things stand with your current girlfriend and whether you are capable at this time to maintain a healthy relationship. If you’re someone who has a history of creating drama and butting heads with a partner, it may be that you simply don’t know how to just be when things are “going perfectly.” And what better way to stir up some dramz than to feel suddenly and immediately consumed by thoughts of an ex you were recently having nasty arguments with? I say hit the pause button on your relationship, step back, and get yourself into some intensive therapy.