He was honest about it and told me that he signed up for the site when he was with his previous partner (their relationship was really bad for ages, mainly because of her, and he only stayed with her as long as her did because he was in love with her and thought things would get better). He said he signed up because it was a way of escaping reality and her. He told me he hasn’t changed his profile on it and completly forgot about the site while he was with me until recently when he got an email saying someone wanted to talk to him on it.
I have found messages between him and a woman — not really like explicit things, and only about 10 short messages altogether, just talking about sexual things they’ve done, but not in much detail really. These messages were recent, but I didn’t find any others apart from that, though I did find messages from other women, which he ignored.
He said since he found out that he was still on the site he has been trying to find out how to delete his profile. Before all this, he was generally really caring and loving and we were happy together. He is usually honest with me but finds it hard to express his feelings at times. I believe him when he says he signed up for the site when he was with his ex, but I’m unsure about why he decided to keep his profile and started talking to this girl in the past few days. He has said he will delete his profile, and unsubscribe, and I could even read all his emails on his account if I wanted before he deletes them. He said he will work really hard to earn my trust and that he never planned on meeting up with the girls, which I do believe, as he has been cheated on in the past. What do you think? — Found His Sex
Something’s rotten in Denmark, that’s what I think. How did you find this sex site in the first place? Were you snooping? If so, that means there was a lack of trust even before you discovered your boyfriend was discussing his sexual history over email with some random woman he met on a sex site he’s a member of. I’ll repeat that last part again: your boyfriend has been trading sex stories with some random woman he met on a sex site he’s a member of. Recently. This happened since you’ve been together. And you’re wondering — what — if you should stay with him or something?
Um, no. Not unless you want to continually worry that your boyfriend is cheating on you or meeting women behind your back. There are a lot of red flags here. He has “trouble expressing his feelings.” He joined a sex site while he was in a committed relationship to “escape” the problems he was having with his girlfriend (what’s he going to do when he has problems with YOU?). And he told you he’s “trying to find out how to delete his profile” on the sex site he belongs to? HOW is he trying to figure that one out? Did he put a message in a bottle and throw it in the ocean and hope someone from customer service receives it?
Take your blinders off and see what’s going on here. You’re dating someone unscrupulous. He may be into you; he may WANT to be a good and decent boyfriend. But he’s got problems he doesn’t seem terribly committed to fixing. Unless you want to get sucked into more drama, I’d MOA from this one, and leave him to his sex stories with his new friends on the sex site he can’t figure out how to cancel.
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