I chose to believe him and we’ve been having a wonderful summer together, but I have not been able to trust him and I question everything he does. Lately, I can’t stop wondering whether he made up that story about his ex. Should I confront her and ask her what really happened? — Feeling a Little Sus
No, you should not confront the ex. You should listen to your gut and employ common sense. Do you really think if someone were truly suicidal, her father would reach out to the guy who broke her heart and ask him to act interested in her and like he wanted to get back together? Do you really think that’s the approach a loving father would take to help his suicidal daughter? If you think that sounds a little fishy and probably isn’t the real story, and if you’re having trouble trusting your boyfriend, you need to listen to your gut. The person you should confront is your boyfriend — for lying to you and trying to cheat on you behind your back. And then you should move on.
My gut feeling is that telling you that he wanted the rest of summer to see what it would be like was his way of softening the blow for you (and likely for him too). It sounds like he’s been falling out of love with you or realizes that he can’t meet your need for attention – especially when he’s experiencing stressful life events — and that your bitterness around that doesn’t lead to a sustainable relationship and he’s simply ready to part ways. I’m sure it’s hard for him — you’ve been together for four years — and calling this a break instead of a “break up” softens the blow for him, too. But, yeah. I’d say it’s probably over.
These posts about getting through difficult breakups may be helpful for you.
He’s telling you his feelings have changed, which happens in relationships, particularly after the honeymoon period has started to wane. You’ve been together about—-what, eight or nine months? And now he’s saying that it was love once but it isn’t anymore and his feelings “won’t get better with time.” I think he probably is NOT the one you’ll be spending your life with and that your relationship isn’t really “perfect” and that you should move on if you two are no longer on the same page and wanting the same thing.