It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss boyfriends picking up strange lasses at the gas station, roommate issues, and when to believe the Tarot cards.
I know my boyfriend would never cheat on me, and the issue is not that I don’t trust him. I just think that being alone with a woman around his own age who is a complete stranger to him, and doing her an unnecessary favor, is disrespectful to me. The problem is, when I tried to explain that to him, he couldn’t see HOW it was disrespectful or why I was upset. Am I justified in being hurt by what he did, or am I stressing out about nothing? If how I feel is normal, how can I better explain to him why it was a problem? — Dating a Pick-Up Artist
If the young woman in question were in distress — like, if she were in labor or had just been mugged (or worse) or something like that — and your boyfriend agreed to drive her to the police or the hospital, I’d say he was a real gem. But it’s totally weird that he gave some able-bodied stranger lady a lift — out of his way — simply because she asked, like he’s some kind of taxi service! But unless he’s making a habit of this kind of behavior, simply express your discomfort, ask him to use better judgment in the future, ask him if he’d like it if you took a ride from a strange man in a gas station, and accept that in the grand scheme of things, this probably isn’t worth getting your panties in a bunch too much — especially if he was forthcoming about the incident and didn’t try to hide it from you.
Have a conversation with them — a conversation that should have been had before everyone moved out and stuck you with the utilities bill. Explain that you were not prepared to cover the bill for a 4-bedroom house all by yourself, that you never signed up for that, and that you would appreciate them all pitching in to cover at least a portion of what they would have paid had they lived there, if not all of what they would have owed.
relationship. I was thinking of sending him an e-mail and confessing the crush and ask if he is interested, but I truly value his friendship and know that it might be weird if he wasn’t interested. — The Second Cup?
Don’t “confess your crush.” You’re 56, for goodness’ sake, not 14. Simply ask him out for some green tea, grilled tofu, and summertime stargazing and see if romance blossoms.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected] and be sure to follow me on Twitter.