Explain to your boyfriend that he may not want to be rude to his freeloading mom and her boyfriend, but by allowing them to continue living with you in your small home indefinitely, he is being very rude to YOU. Tell him you want them out of your house by this weekend so that you can decorate and enjoy the holidays and begin getting ready for your baby. If they are not out by the weekend, tell him you will be staying with friends/family in a hotel until they *are* out. That gives you a few days to line up places to stay, which you will likely need. They will give him a guilt trip because it’s the holidays and “they have nowhere to go.” But it isn’t YOUR job to house two capable, grown adults. They are taking advantage of you and everyone knows it.
If your boyfriend allows you to essentially move out before putting the kibosh on this pitiful arrangement, that tells you all you need to know abut his commitment to you, and I would seriously start looking for your own place to rent and to raise your child in. If you are to have any future with him as a romantic partner, he needs to learn how to create some boundaries with his mother. This is a test, and so far he is failing. His failure does not need to be your future.
This weekend we got into a funk, and one of the nights he drank a lot of alcohol. I saw his temper getting worse, and I dumped the remaining liquor out as I was frustrated and fed up with his behaviour. We came to a resolution at the end of the night, and I hugged him and consoled him. The next day we argued again, over a conversation in the car that was rather minimal. Things escalated when we arrived home, and while I was standing in the kitchen washing dishes he knocked over kitchen counter items. I was not yelling, I tried to remain calm, and I told him he needed to leave the house and go for a walk or see a friend as I was not able to console him any further. Because I pointed to the door and had some water on my hand, he got some water on him. He then put his hands in the running water and splashed me twice, after which he cupped his hands, filled them with water, and threw the water at my face while I was standing. I stood there and felt a wave of emotions, then grabbed the kitchen towel and wiped my face while walking off to the bedroom.
Looking back now, I felt I was firm throughout our conversation, and I really couldn’t handle his temper so asking him to leave was the best solution as it would allow us both to have our own space. We both know he has a temperament behavioural problem, but was I wrong to not console him if I was upset with the way he was acting? I felt exhausted and stressed from arguing the night before. What would you do or how would you react if this happened to you? — Can’t Handle His Temper
This goes beyond your boyfriend having a “temperament behavior problem.” He’s abusive, he might be an alcoholic, and he treats you like garbage. If this were happening to me and this were a boyfriend with whom I did not share children, I’d count my lucky stars and adios right on out of there. If we were more tethered together, by a legal marriage or children, I’d insist he get help in the form of therapy and counseling for his abusive behavior and his alcohol problem if I thought he had one. I’d assist him in finding said help and I’d tell him he had to live somewhere else for a while until I felt I could trust him again. And I’d tell him if he ever laid a hand on me or attacked me in any physical way ever again or called me a nasty name, we’d be done forever, period.
I would never, ever tolerate the kind of behavior you have thus far tolerated, and I would be heartbroken if someone I cared about did. I hope you know your value and your worth and that you don’t deserve the treatment you’ve received from this person. I hope you can find the strength to tell him you’ve had enough and you’ll never give him another opportunity to knock you down.