I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and although we’ve never had sex anywhere but at home, my boyfriend keeps condoms in his car, which I’ve recently expressed my discomfort over. He told me that he has always kept condoms in his car (even before me) and it is for no particular reason. However, he promised to remove them since it made me uncomfortable. Four weeks later, I found out he never removed them but rather put them in different locations in the car to throw me off. Every time we are about to have sex, he has to stop and get a condom out of his car, which I find to be absurd. Finally, I removed them myself and he had a big commotion about it.
In the town where we live, my boyfriend has a reputation for being the local “man whore.” I try hard to trust him, but people approach me all the time with stories of other girls that he’s fooling around with. He denies it all and gets really defensive — he swears up and down that he has changed, but his actions are proving differently. Am I overreacting or is the truth in my face and I’m too naive to accept it? I can’t help but feeling that I am setting myself up for bigger disappointments. — Man Whore’s Girlfriend
No one keeps condoms — in the car of anywhere else — for “no particular reason.” There’s a very specific reason people keep condoms: to have them when the opportunity of sex presents itself. What’s peculiar about this situation isn’t so much that your boyfriend keeps condoms in a place where you’ve never had sex together — there’s always a chance you might get frisky in the car, or find yourself somewhere where a condom in the glove compartment might come in handy — it’s that he doesn’t keep them at home, the one place you always do have sex. That he’s purposefully arranged it so that he has to run out to his car every time you guys get busy seems to me that he wants you to be suspicious. Certainly, if you asked him to remove the condoms from the car and he simply moved them around, means at the very least he doesn’t care what you think, and that, in addition to his “man whore” reputation and the fact that you don’t seem to trust him seem to be the biggest problems here.
If you actually have multiple people approach you “all the time” with stories of your boyfriend cheating on you, and you have enough circumstantial evidence to believe those stories might be true, and your boyfriend blatantly disregards your feelings, then yeah, I’d have to say you’re pretty foolish for staying with him. I’m not sure what it is exactly you’re waiting for before you decide it’s time to MOA. A paternity test on “Maury” that confirms your boyfriend is the baby daddy to some other girl in town? An STD from him? Catching him in the act? Not everyone who’s cheated on is lucky enough to get multiple warnings of the fact. You are and you’re still hanging on. At this point, if you get hurt, you kind of have yourself to blame. But I suspect you already know that or you wouldn’t have written to me. Right?
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