I knew this was a serious problem over a year ago, when he owed my boyfriend 2K, and I begged him to get rid of him. I was upset because I was paying for most of the things we did when this loser first moved in since my boyfriend had other debts he was trying to clear, and he would then go without necessities like food because this renter didn’t give him what he owed him. My boyfriend has kept him there because this con-artist has made promises to put him in these projects and make him famous! Not one of the contracts or projects since he has moved in has materialized, and now, two years of excuses later, he owes my boyfriend roughly $10,000. I said it’s time to throw him out, especially since there’s no lease and no proof of what is owed, if he tried to sue him.
Now the roommate’s dad just died. Even though he owes my boyfriend $10K and is “a millionaire’s son,” he asked my boyfriend for $2K cash (at Christmas time) so he could pay “his shared portion of funeral” to his brothers, when the mother is still alive. MY BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY GAVE IT TO HIM; he is not family or a friend! Cash was not needed — a funeral home will take a life insurance policy to pay for everything and refund the difference.
My boyfriend has no problem telling me off and defending this idiot’s behavior when the topic comes up. However, he has no balls to tell this wimpy man that time’s UP! Even when my boyfriend told him months ago that I may be moving in and he may need to move out, he replied, “I might not be ready to move out yet” and my boyfriend didn’t say anything moreto him. I told my boyfriend he needs to stop being this other man’s bitch, letting him dictate what goes on in his own house, and deciding when, how much, and even whether he’ll pay his share of the rent at all.
I hate to stand by and watch someone financially take advantage of my boyfriend and string him along with promises of stardom and paying him back. I get sick listening to him brag about this person, telling others about what he has promised him. Am I wrong to tell him it’s time to grow a pair and get rid of this con-artist? Or should I just walk away and let him crash and burn alone if he won’t get rid of him, even though I love him and he says he loves me? It would kill me to keep quiet and watch this continue – it’s like watching someone die. — Exasperated
It’s time to walk away and to say a little prayer of thanks for the con-artist that he was able to expose so many of your boyfriend’s flaws before you actually moved in with him or committed yourself more than you already have. Your boyfriend is the wimp. He’s cheap, he’s naive, he’s foolish, and he doesn’t seem to respect you very much. I’d also be wondering if the empty promise of stardom was truly the only reason your boyfriend continues to let a man live with him for free for two years. If it is, the crash and burn you mention is going to be epic, and you should distance yourself as quickly as you can…
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com.