You sound generous and thoughtful — two traits that will serve you well in life and in marriage. In thinking of your guests, their kids’ well-being and enjoyment, and the teachers you’ve hired to babysit, you are ensuring a good time for everyone during your wedding (you and your groom included!). I think that is very much worth $1000 as much as anything else you might be including in your wedding budget, even if it is a tad more than typical babysitting rates (and, as you pointed out, watching seven kids during a holiday weekend destination wedding isn’t typical anyway). Further, if you’ve already offered $500 to each teacher you’ve hired to babysit, you can’t very well change that amount now! The teachers would be offended and may even decide not to take the job and then you’re in a jam to find replacements. Plus, it makes your friend who put you in touch with the teachers look bad, reflects poorly on you, and could put a strain on your friendship. All for what? To try to save a few hundred bucks? Not worth it. Besides that, if anyone deserves a few hours of “overpayment” it’s a school teacher. Please tell your fiancé that, going forward, you are willing to compromise on most aspects of your life together, but this decision has already been made and would not be worth the trouble and hurt feelings to save some money, especially when the people who would most be affected are your wedding guests, their kids, and a couple of teachers just trying to supplement their woefully-low salaries.
There’s no point in telling your boyfriend about the kiss or that you met up with your ex-boyfriend, except to alleviate your guilty conscience. Don’t do that. Instead, think about why, after two years of dating someone else — someone you say you want to spend your life with — you felt like you needed “closure” with an ex-boyfriend. Might it have something to do with moving on so quickly to your current boyfriend? I think so. To say you have trust issues is concerning. Especially when you’re acting on those issues in self-destructive (and relationship-destructive) ways. This goes beyond just not doing something like this again. You need to figure out WHY you cheated in the first place, and you need to deal with your trust issues (with the help of a therapist if you can’t do it alone) or they will continue to haunt you and all your relationships going forward.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].