If you don’t want to ruin your friendship or hurt Jane’s feelings, I wouldn’t say a thing about the chin hairs, especially considering that you’re co-workers and have to see each other every day. If you notice that the hairs are removed every couple months, it’s not as if she isn’t aware. She’s simply not prioritizing their removal, and since it’s her body, it’s certainly her choice whether she removes body hair or not. I’m sorry it’s distracting to you, but you’re just going to have to suck it up.
She may not be aware of her bad breath, but if her attitude about the chin hairs is an indication, she might not address the bad breath to your satisfaction either even if she knew how bad it was (and she might already know!). If it’s really that big a distraction for you, you could casually offer her some breath mints or gum, but do it like you’re being courteous as you take some for yourself.
His ex does know about me, because I made myself known, but otherwise she too would have no clue of our relationship. She has a child, my boyfriend’s step-child, whom I encourage him to see as there’s no need for children being punished for two people splitting up. There have been a few occasions where he has seen the girl and not told me, as I don’t demand to know his whereabouts, but I don’t like to be lied to when there is no need.
Anyway, last night I went on his phone (I have NEVER done this). On Friday evening he texted his ex a link to a restaurant saying, “What happened to us going here?” She didn’t reply. I scrolled up, and he had also sent her a bouquet of flowers and Prossecco when she completed a marathon. A “well done” text, I get, but gifts, too? When I went to grab his phone off him again and run upstairs, he pulled both my legs so I fell. Am I absolutely wasting my time? Or being impatient? — Time-Wasting?
Girl, the red flags are waving so fiercely they’re likely slapping you in the face here. This is not a relationship with a happy future.
If you’re not sure what her reasons are for keeping you and her kids separated, ASK HER. If she can’t give you an answer that satisfies you, then it’s time to be concerned. But the first step is always to communicate. You are allowed to have needs just as much as the ex-husband, and your girlfriend should be more concerned with upsetting you than upsetting him, to be honest (although her kids’ feelings should take top priority).
If you want to be included in her life more than you are, then tell her. If it’s important to you to have more interaction with her kids, let her know that. And, again, if after you actually communicate your views, you still don’t feel satisfied with the status of things, then your concern would be justified and you may want to consider whether this relationship is a good fit for you or whether it might be time to move on.