What advice would you give me to help the situation calm down? It’s been since mid-November of last year, so only a few months. — Pain Needs Pot
It doesn’t sound like Ted really is “supporting everything you can do” to feel better if he often mentions how “annoying” you are when you partake in what sounds like the one thing that has worked to manage your pain. Frankly, he sounds like the opposite of supportive. He sounds like a jerk. Instead of asking me what would “calm the situation,” you should ask him. What does he suggest you do? Does he prefer you be in constant pain instead of annoying him with your giggles? Because if that’s the case, I have a suggestion: dump the selfish motherfucker.
Some other ideas: You “partake” earlier in the day — maybe as you’re leaving work (assuming you work during the day), instead of later in the evening, so that the side-effects of being high wear off a little before you and Ted have quality time together in the evening. You could also experiment with different strains. Talk to the staff at the dispensary about what side-effects you’d most like to avoid and which ones are more tolerant. Make sure that the strains you experiment with are all known for their pain-management benefits, of course.
Finally, you say that your husband “understands the benefits” of your managing your pain with medical marijuana, but maybe he doesn’t. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt by suggesting this because if he truly does understand and he’s still giving you a hard time — often mentioning how annoying you are — without suggesting some ways you can make this work, then he really truly is a selfish motherfucker. So, giving him that benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t understand, you could try explaining to him the difference in your pain before “partaking” and during/after. You could explain with a pain scale of 1-10 or with metaphors he might be able to relate to. Are there normal activities most pain-free people take for granted — like walking up a flight of stairs — that you are unable to do normally without raging pain but can manage fine with the support of medical marijuana? Explain to him as best you can how beneficial this particular form of pain management has been for you and what that means for your well-being.
If he still doesn’t get the picture, and if you can’t find a solution that works for you both, and he continues you nag you, you need to weigh what is more important: living a life with some relief from debilitating pain, or staying married to a selfish motherfucker who doesn’t care about you. I know which one I would choose.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].