Once, a long long time ago, I went out with (okay lived with) a lovely psychopath for ten years. This guy is a total charmer — like really, really good. I recently heard he is now qualifying to be a therapist. When he was with me, he was a truly poisonous thing, creating deep and lasting damage. And although like all psychopaths he is very insightful, I have no confidence that he will ever act in favor of those he might help, and feel very anxious that he may abuse his position.
It’s possible he may have grown up and tried to change, but when he was with me he was a cruel person who would not think anything of violent rape, and could always find ways to justify his actions. I do not wish to seek revenge; I believe that we all have the possibility to transcend our baser selves, but talking to his recent partner makes me believe he’s still the same. So, should I do something? I feel that it’s a luxury not to have to think about him anymore; I still remember the day I put the phone down and thought, “Yay! You are so out of my life.” It had, until then, seemed impossible that my life could go on without his violent control… But, now, should this guy be a therapist? This was a long time ago. He really was a smart guy. He might have changed. I will come over probably as a bitter harpy if I try to say anything. But my soul itches at the thought of this guy near vulnerable women. What should I do? — Worried for His Patients
I say leave it alone and worry about yourself. I understand the urge to protect vulnerable women, but, as you said, you don’t know who this man is today, you don’t know the details about the career he’s pursuing and the kind of people it will put him in contact with, nor do you know anything about the way in which he is being tested for his new role. And even if you did, what exactly would you say and to whom would you say it? And do you think being a therapist is the only way this man can be “near vulnerable women”? If he’s as much of a charmer as you say he is, I’m sure in the years since you last knew him, he’s had plenty of opportunities to take advantage of people if that’s what he wanted.
You can’t protect the whole world from him, so unless you know of a specific person or a specific incident you should worry about, protect yourself. Stay away from this guy. Continue living your life, and enjoy the luxury of not having to think about him anymore. He’s not your concern, and it’s not your job to protect others from the potential mistake of knowing and working with him.
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