About four weeks after he left, I booked a flight to Colorado to see him, and I spent three weeks with him there. I later spent my entire summer break with him in Colorado again. It was perfect. Then, for his 28th birthday in October, I went to see him again. We even bought a puppy together. I then went back for Christmas and New Year’s. So I flew to Colorado four times in total to visit him, and I now realize how crazy that was because I spent so much money (and time and effort).
My birthday was a few days after Valentine’s Day, and he told me over Skype that he got me something for both occasions and that he would mail the gifts out soon. (Four weeks later, I am still waiting…). When we Skyped, everything seemed perfect — he even told me to come visit him in April for our 2-year anniversary and that he would take me camping before he gets deployed. But then, four days after we Skyped, I woke up to a text from him. It said, “I have someone else now.” That’s all he texted me. I replied, “What?” but he never texted me back. That was the last time we “talked.”
I don’t understand how he could go from wanting me to visit him in April to replacing me within only four days? How is that even possible? He has been talking a lot of shit about me to his friends and my best friend, and he even sent around some of the pictures he has of me and he is telling dirty lies about me, making it look like I was the bad guy. I was so crazy about him though. I spoiled him so much — for his birthday I got him VIP concert tickets to see Chris Brown (his favourite singer), which cost me, like, 400 bucks. And he didn’t even give me a card for my birthday.
A few days ago he posted a picture on Instagram of himself with his new girl, and the caption read “Friday Night Crush.” He always uses Instagram only for the filters and then uploads the pictures on Facebook, but he didn’t do that this time. Do you think he did that because he knew I would see the picture? I got so upset because he looks so happy. Not like fake happy — he looks genuinely happy with that new girl. How can he forget me so fast? Also, why doesn’t he seem to care that I am not trying to talk to him?
Another problem I have is that I still have things of mine at his apartment in Colorado, like some clothes, an xbox, and a Hello Kitty toaster with matching microwave. I bought all these things with my money and I kind of want them back, but I don’t know how I can get them since he is not talking to me and I don’t want to seem desperate by trying to talk to him.
I am still not over him. I truly loved him with all of my heart even though he didn’t do much for me — I was always the one making all the effort. I know I have to forget him and move on, but I just don’t understand how he can move on so fast and not even care about me anymore. — Missing Hello Kitty
Well, what did you expect? I mean, his favorite singer is Chris Brown. Honestly, I’d consider this a bullet dodged. A few years from now you’re going to look back at this relationship and go, “Oh, God, what was I thinking?” At least if you’re smart, you will. Because this guy sounds like an asshole. And I’m sure you felt like you had a connection and there must have been chemistry and I guess there was something about him you liked, although in seven paragraphs you didn’t list a single thing, but the guy’s an ass. You’re better off without him.
It will take some time, but you’ll move on. You’ll get over him. There will be other relationships.
The thing you can do right now is remember that what you see on social media — Facebook, Instagram, what have you — is not reality. Just because someone posts a picture looking happy doesn’t mean he’s happy all the time. It doesn’t mean he’s even happy in that moment. Hell, I’ve posted pictures of food that wasn’t mine just because I liked the way it looked, so I’m sure people have posted pictures of dates they were ambivalent about just because they like the way they look. And even if your ex IS as happy as you think he looks in his pictures, I can assure you that his happiness will never be anything meaningful because he lacks emotional depth. It’s why he was able to move on from you so quickly and it’s why he’ll never know true, intimate love — the kind of love that fills you with joy and makes your heart hurt when it ends. And that’s too bad for him, because the ability to feel deeply is a gift, because for as much as the lows hurt, the highs are greater than anything.
As for getting your stuff back, I say write it off. With all the money you’ll be saving not flying to Colorado every three months and buying VIP tickets to see angry wife-beaters perform, you’ll be able to afford a new Hello Kitty toaster (oh, look — there’s one 80% off on Amazon!). Maybe in addition to a matching microwave, you can even get a matching Hello Kitty coffee pot, too, because why not? This is the time to treat yourself. Do the things your crappy ex wouldn’t do. Buy yourself some gifts. Take yourself on a trip that isn’t halfway across the world.
Oh, and FFS, block the ex on social media. You don’t need him or his smiling flavor of the month in your face every time you log on.
P.S. This Hello Kitty slow cooker is just 20 bucks.
P.P.S. THEY MAKE A HELLO KITTY SLOW COOKER!
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