Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

If you watch my Instagram stories (and, really, you should be), you’ve no doubt seen the blue sunglasses I’ve been sporting for most of the summer. I get a ton of compliments on them (probably because they cover half my face) and people keep asking where they’re from, so here you go. I freakin’ love Nordstrom Rack — $20 for these shades that originally retailed for $125!

Ok, here are a few other recent purchases I’ve made at NR: this tank from Madewell (in heavy rotation this summer); a couple of these cute and breezy tanks for working out; and this perfect summer dress. I didn’t order this eyeshadow set, but I have to share a link because it’s such a good deal and maybe you’re in the market.

My birthday is coming up in less than a month — 42, y’all — and I know Drew always checks these posts for ideas, so Drew, this one’s for you: I really like all of these earrings.

Cleaning out the litter box is the bane of my existence, but we recently switched to this litter and now it’s not so bad. Really. This litter is sort of miraculous? It’s super lightweight and it actually manages to keep the box smelling… not horrible. Honestly, in 19 years of being a cat mom, this is the best product I’ve found. (If you read the reviews, almost all the negative ones are from first-time cat owners who don’t realize how god awful most litter is and how much better this stuff is. Those in the know, know.)

I’m trying to cut back a little bit on my alcohol intake just because that seems like something a person should do on occasion, and now when I am craving a cocktail, I reach for one of these, which I think is sort of the perfect non-boozey summer drink (in the cutest can, too!). Except…I keep imagining all the ways I could make a delicious cocktail with it, so stay tuned – I suspect there might be a new Drinking with Dear Wendy coming up before summer ends…

Wendy’s Weekly Picks,” is a feature in which I highlight stuff I like or recommend in fashion, gift ideas, home decor, makeup, websites, entertainment, and recipes. Some of the recommendations are affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the links. Thanks for your support!


Guys, it’s already August 9th, which means Labor Day, the unofficial end of Summer, is less than a month away. School is starting back up in some places in the country. (Here in NYC, where it starts a little later than most places, we have about four weeks to go.) The sun is setting a little earlier, stores are selling Halloween stuff, and if you need a new swimsuit, you’re out of luck because they’re pretty much sold out everywhere. So, what’s on your agenda for the remaining weeks of the season? Here’s what I’m up to between now and Labor Day:
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This week in the forums we’re discussing:

My obese husband wants a divorce b/c I don’t “love” his body

Problem at work as a short person

Bad Dates

First Trip to Europe!

Coworker in love with my boyfriend!

Take ex-boyfriend back?

Coworker in love with my boyfriend!

“Boyfriend Went Limp, Calls Me Fat”

“I’m having my ex boyfriend’s baby and now my current boyfriend is leaving me”

Unwanted bridal shower/Future MIL issues

Mother boundaries

How to choose day care?

Advice on dealing with manipulative, but also very sweet, friend

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].

I have a little situation going on right now where I say something that seems to easily upset my Maid of Honor and she has no hesitation to “ghost” me. The more difficult part is that she not only lives in another state, but also she is my childhood friend and for some reason lately we could be talking about anything — work, her relationship, random topics, etc. – and she will get short with me saying, “K…talk to you later…I should be alone right now…”.

I truly don’t understand, and when I asked her about it and we discussed it, I thought we were all good, but then something I said afterward rubbed her the wrong way and she pushed me away again. She isn’t one to talk about her feelings, so how am I to understand why she has been reacting the way she has been? It’s hard to be going through this wedding-planning process when your BEST FRIEND/MOH shuts you out.

The only things I have been stressing about through this process have been the things I shouldn’t be stressing about. I don’t know what to do right now; she says she wants more Maid of Honor duties, but she tends to take on a lot, thinking it’s a burden to ask for help.

I guess my questions are: Why would I give someone more jobs when she ghosts me and I don’t hear from her for weeks? Should I ask her to step down and let my sister be MOH instead? I don’t know what to do or how to even approach the topic. — Shut Out By my MOH

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I dated a guy on and off for a year before he moved back to his former city to be closer to his son and family. A year after the move, we resumed “dating” long-distance for about seven months. We started making plans for my visit and discussed my possibly moving at a later date. During this time he reconnected with old friends, including someone he used to date (long distance also) with whom he had some bad experiences. (She once drove for hours to curse him and trash his house. She also broke into his phone – after he had forgiven her and they had hung out as friends – and called other people he was seeing.)

When she called after she heard he was back in town, he said that he had forgiven her (again), that they were just friends, and that he’d told her he’d met someone. Around this time, he also decided to buy a house so he could have his son over more – and I’d also have a place to stay since he had been living with family to save money. He often asked for advice/feedback, and I spent countless hours going over properties with him. Meanwhile, he and his friend started to spend more time together as they would go exercising.

Eventually, when things graduated to their “catching up” during a weekly Friday night “appointment” (she’s a therapist), I became uneasy. I told him she wanted more than friendship and asked what he was going to do when she asked him out. He said that would never happen, but he later confessed she had asked to start dating him again and he turned her down. However, he continued to see her – albeit less frequently.

When he finally closed on a house, I asked that I be the first person to see it after his family. We had been making preparations for me to visit. I was invested in his success.

His friend got there before I did. He said she lived closer, so it wasn’t a big deal. But it was to me. I felt hurt, betrayed, used…it was the one thing I had asked him for. I felt it would have marked a turning point for us. And I felt her action was intended to cause friction, which it did.

I felt disrespected by her and by him. Even though she lived there, could she not have waited? Was I wrong for wanting to share that moment with him first? Am I getting relationship etiquette wrong? — Waiting for the Turning Point

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