Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

This week in the forums, we’re discussing:

Casting Call for Late-in-Life Mother

Products for protecting heat-styled hair

Update… the boyfriend who views marriage as a prison sentence

Update on Not sure if to break up or continue the relationship

Frustrated with Myself Post-Breakup

Confused if I am being emotionally abused? Should I leave husband?

What Food can you not get where you are that you have been craving?

Nashville Recommendations?

My father is very overprotective of me. How can I get him to back off a bit?

“My Boyfriend Isn’t Financially Stable”

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].


BRB – I’m gonna take a couple of days to deal with a couple of crises at home. Check out my insta stories for details. (Everyone is ok!)


Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Ain’t that the truth: “The gender pay gap isn’t the half of it: our economy runs on women’s unpaid work”

Have you been following the whole Tony Robbins #metoo business? (For the record, I’ve always thought Tony Robbins is a tool). This woman wrote a column about it for the Chicago Tribune, and then got an avalanche of emails that would make one lose whatever faith one might have in mankind. Yikes. I feel you, sister! Y’all should see some of the emails I’ve received in the 14+ years I’ve dared to be a woman who writes on the internet.

The share of American young adults living with their parents is the highest in 75 years

This interview with advisors on dating apps is pretty insightful. Here’s one of the questions and answers:

How did you tell people to be less picky diplomatically?

I would tell them, you’re incredible but you need to go out on more dates, meet more people, maybe date someone who is 30 miles away, maybe try to date the guy who’s not as tall as you want him to be. Pick one thing that’s nonnegotiable.

Especially in New York. I have the same League profile in New York and San Francisco. It’s the same photos, but my New York self performs a lot lower simply because of the ratio. There’s a lot more women than men in New York, and the competition for high-achieving, ambitious women who have great photos — I don’t say “pretty” or “hot” because it’s not about that, it’s about how you market yourself — is a lot higher.

$6.4 Million Judgment in Revenge Porn Case Is Among Largest Ever

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.


Dear Wendy readers are some of the most intelligent, stylish, super cool people around (it’s a proven fact), so it’s a no-brainer to feature some of their favorite products. Many of the recommended products happen to be affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the affiliate links. As always, I appreciate your support! Today’s recommendations come from my friend, Emily, whose writings have graced DW here, here,here, here, and here. Fun fact: Many, many moons ago, Emily and I wrote a product recommendation blog together. These days, Emily lives in Boston with her musician husband and her insane and adorable dogs. She’s currently drinking too much coffee, watching movies she’s already seen, or bleaching her roots. Here are some of her current favorite things:
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I have been dating my boyfriend for four years now, and my parents clearly disapprove of the relationship. Their disapproval mainly stems from my boyfriend coming from a different culture (ethnicity as well) and nationality.

They have been very logical in their approach, explaining that the negative impacts of differing cultures will not show in the dating phase and that they will only show after a long-term marriage, children, and home cultures are involved. And they know a few intercultural married couples who divorced because of eventual cultural clashes. And because my boyfriend and I have different nationalities, they argue that our future is very uncertain. They value stability a lot. They want me to stay in the same country as they are in or at the least a neighboring country.

Now, my boyfriend is working in Europe, while I am working in Asia, which means we are doing a long-distance relationship, and my parents are expecting me to just slowly ease out of the relationship. Of course, that is not happening. My boyfriend and I are still very much in love.

I understand that the potential risk is definitely there, but I don’t want to end my relationship because of things that could possibly happen in the worst case scenario. I don’t want to end my relationship because of my parents’ perspectives. But because their argument is logical, I don’t know how to persuade them. I discussed it with my boyfriend too, about family, education, and all the possible things that might clash in marriage, and we managed to find middle grounds and solutions. Of course, I’m sure there will be many more problems after marriage that we can’t see now, but I believe that if intercultural marriage can work with some people, it can work with us too. I wanted to just let them get familiar with my boyfriend and slowly accept him, but now they are expecting me to slowly break up with my boyfriend, to the point that they refuse to meet him because that would be investing too much in the relationship.

I don’t know how to deal with my parents. What should I do? — Parents Don’t Accept My Cross-Cultural Love

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