It was my job to divide up his possessions. I made boxes of his favorite things for his friends and family, saved a few things for myself, and liquidated the rest. My brother and my first husband weren’t particularly close, but they got along well enough. I gave my brother my first husband’s Rolex. I loved that Rolex and I wanted it to go to someone special, but it felt too painful to keep it for myself. When my first husband was alive, I often wanted to borrow it, but it would have needed links taken out to do so, so I never could.

Over the years, as my trauma has healed and I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve started slowly wearing jewelry from my late first husband again. It no longer feels too painful; now it feels really nice actually. I’m happily remarried, but a death is not the same as a breakup and I feel I can love and honor both parties; I don’t need to choose loyalty, and my current husband agrees.

Recently, the Rolex came to mind. The problem is, I regret giving it away and I’d like it back. I asked my brother and he said he keeps it in a safe deposit box, wearing it 1-2 times per year. I asked if he would give it back, and he didn’t outright refuse but he did push back. In fact, he offered to pay me the value of the Rolex (about 5k). It’s not about the money; I want that watch back for sentimental reasons.

On the one hand, I fully understand that I gave it to him and he’s entitled to keep it. I won’t force the issue if it sparks an argument or causes a rift. But I’d like your opinion on if I’m wrong to ask for it back, given that I wasn’t in my right mind when I gave it away and I had to make a lot of snap decisions in that fragile state.