So fast forward to over two years later. He has been there for me as my massage therapist through cancer, the loss of close family members, formerly chronic pain which our work together has significantly reduced, and a few other enormous and life-altering events. Needless to say, I was not ready to ask him out again throughout much of this time. He has a very intuitive sense of where I am at and what I need. He “gets” me. I asked him out for the second time just two weeks ago.

This was after he literally said that I have a “fine ass” while I was naked on the massage table last week, and he brought up sexual conversation between us, which I was fine with participating in. We do sometimes flirt, he has called me “beautiful” many times, and he has complimented my hair, my dress, my style, my sense of decor, etc., but this was very strongly sexual; he has never said something like this to me before.

He refused my invitation by saying that he isn’t hanging out in general these days. He is living in isolation two hours away and only comes into town for 1-2 days to work before going back home. I responded: “Okay. This is the first time in almost three years that I have asked you directly for a date. I’ll probably wait another three years to ask you again! I will see you on Sunday then [for our appt.]. Thank you then for making me feel beautiful and whole and even sexy.” And he responded, “And you are! See you Sunday.”

I can’t figure out if we have anything or not. He is a terrific therapist and I don’t really want to lose him in the therapist capacity. We are not sexually compatible as he has kinks that he has shared with me that I am not interested in.