Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Let’s be honest — Valentine’s Day kind of sucks for a lot of us. There’s the disappointment of being let down, the pressure to measure up, and all the weight of unmet expectations and the baggage of crappy Valentine’s Day pasts. Plus, this year there aren’t even conversations hearts! But fear not, friends! There is wonder — or at least a coupon for good take-out — still to be had, even if this isn’t your favorite day of the year. Below are 14 things to tell yourself on Valentine’s Day if you hate Valentine’s Day.

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This week in the forums we’re discussing:

What if your boyfriend tries to use his police friends to get you in trouble?

Traveling without wife

Stuck with school and thus my future

Is it time to break up?

My boyfriend is too harsh on my daughter

Accidentally friendzoned my crush

How do I reclaim my sexuality?

Break up with long distance girlfriend

Is my boss interested in me???

My sister’s divorce

My husband betrayed me

Caught between two men…

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].


Chances are you probably know someone in a polyamorous or open relationship. You may not be aware that you do, but you probably do. And chances are, unless you are the someone in a polyamorous or open relationship, you may not know as much as you think you do about how such a relationship works and what some of the biggest benefits and challenges are. Below, five different women discuss their experience with polyamory and open relationships (they aren’t necessarily the same thing), and some of the biggest misconceptions people have about the lifestyle. For example, jealousy is NOT generally the biggest challenge people in polyamorous relationships face. Find out below what is.
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I have been with my boyfriend, “Ted,” for over a year and we now live together. Our relationship started in an iffy manner as I was just getting out of another relationship and I told Ted that I would have to wait a couple months before I could officially call him my boyfriend because I didn’t want people to talk. Later I found that during this time he was not only flirting with an ex but telling her the same things he was telling me (that he loves her, wanted to be with her, and so forth) and sending her nudes. When we started dating, he stopped flirting with her but never told her about me until she asked. After that they stopped talking completely.

Our relationship outside of that seemed perfectly normal and great until I realized he had been on occasion commenting on other girls’ photos — things such as “damnnnn,” “wya,” or “dang, you look really good.” I found out about this, we had a talk, and it stopped…for a while. Recently I began to snoop through Ted’s phone and saw messages with another girl where he called her cute, asked her on a date (she was busy) and asked her for her snapchat. When I talked to him about this, he said he didn’t know why he did it and didn’t ever really intend on meeting up with her.

Our relationship has been so great in every other way, but this feels like an ongoing battle. I truly love him and I can tell he loves me. I don’t know what to do or think anymore. — Tired of the Ongoing Battle

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I’m a little late on the weekend open thread (posting it Sunday morning), but here it is if you feel like chatting! What are you all up to this weekend? This past week marked 10 years since Drew and I got engaged and to mark the occasion we took in a Broadway show Friday night (which was also my Christmas gift from Drew). We saw True West with Ethan Hawke (who gave an incredible performance). Today we’re taking the kids to a puppet show performed by a group from Spain at BAM. Other than that, we’re taking it easy — I’m doing some mid-winter organizing, Joanie is watching cat videos on YouTube, Drew is building fires in the fireplace, and Jackson is indulging a sudden interest in learning songs on his keyboard.

This was a hard week and I’m glad for a chance to unwind a little (I mean, as much as you can when you’ve got two kids at each other’s throats around the clock). It wasn’t necessarily hard for me but was a very hard one for close friends, and I’ve been worried. One of my best friends had to put her beloved seven-year-old dog down on Monday when she was diagnosed with a wildly aggressive form of cancer that spread in a matter of days after initial symptoms presented themselves. She’s devastated, obviously. And on Tuesday, while I was assisting another friend whose daughter sprained her ankle at the playground, one of my oldest and closest friends from college was in a terrible car accident on an icy road outside Kansas City as he was driving home from an audition. He remains in critical condition, in a medically-induced coma and on life support, and with very serious internal injuries. Every day I keep praying for some good news.

Anyway, I hope life for you – and your loved ones — has been a little less dramatic and that you’re enjoying your weekend. If you have some good vibes to spare, would you send some my friend’s way in Missouri? Thanks!

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