From the forums:
Now NonFic’s parents have started posting incessantly on Facebook about the wedding. He is their only child, so I get that they are very excited about this, but I’m talking about completely non-sequitor, unnecessary posts, like, I post a status about being tired (I know, I am very extremely interesting), and his dad comments, “NonFic and AbFic: September nth 2013, 107 days away!” or something to that effect. When I delete the comments, they repost them (!). Bizarro and mostly harmless (I do like his parents, they are nice people), but again, kind of thoughtless considering the semi-public nature of the forum.
I imagine we will be posting a couple of wedding photos after the fact, but we have been so careful not to talk about plans or post engagement pictures to avoid hurt feelings/unexpected guests, and I’m not sure how to navigate this aspect of wedding invitations/preparations. How should I handle this? — Social Media isn’t Invited to my Wedding
First of all, I would worry much more about hurt feelings than having unexpected guests at your wedding. Unless we’re talking about first-rate stalkers — which, I guess, could be an issue if a restraining order is part of the equation — I can’t imagine people just showing up at a casual friend’s or acquaintance’s wedding uninvited. (Readers, has this ever happened to any of you??). As for hurt feelings, I think you are right to be concerned. Even if people put two and two together and figure out that you had a wedding that they weren’t invited to, it’s an easier pill to swallow if they can imagine your wedding was tiny and most people weren’t invited. When pictures of your invitation, as well as the wedding itself, start popping up all over their Newsfeeds, well, that’s a different story.
Rather than continue untagging yourself and hope for the best in coming months, I’d be proactive now and send an email message to everyone you’ve sent an STD to saying something like this:
By now you should have received a save-the-date card to our wedding this September. We are so excited to see all of you and celebrate this special occasion with you. We are grateful for your support and enthusiasm, but we respectfully request that you refrain from disclosing details of our small wedding on social media. Thank you for helping us maintain our privacy and protect the feelings of those we weren’t able to include.
Then, you can update your wedding website with a similar message. Chances are, people will still hear about your wedding and see some photos, but, as long as their newsfeeds aren’t cluttered with wedding talk, they’ll only wish you well. Good luck!
You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.