Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Poll: Do You Celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Yesterday’s column got me wondering about how everyone feels about Valentine’s Day, which is coming up two weeks from today. Do you love it, hate it, feel indifferent? Personally, it means pretty much nothing to me but a spike in traffic for a few days (lots and lots of people be Googlin’ relationship advice around Valentine’s Day) and a last minute run to the store for some little treat for the kids.

What are your thoughts on the occasion? Poll below!

29 comments… add one
  • avatar

    mcj2012 January 31, 2018, 1:44 pm

    I love to celebrate it with my family. I usually make a candlelit dinner, create a menu set soft music and we all dance. The kids really enjoy it and so do the hubs & I. I buy them little token gifts and my hub gets a chocolate heart. Nothing too fancy but just letting them know how loved they are.

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      csp February 1, 2018, 9:01 am

      I love this! we pretty much do the same. do “fancy takeout” and put it on nice plates, bottle of wine and heart shaped cookies.

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    MissD January 31, 2018, 1:54 pm

    I think it’s nice to go out of your way to do something sweet. I mean, I’d love to get flowers, since flowers are kind of a special occasion sort of thing. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s nice to acknowledge Valentine’s Day, but it’s not really a big deal.

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      MMR January 31, 2018, 7:20 pm

      This is exactly what I was thinking. It’s not about how big a gesture it is, it’s just nice for it to be acknowledged in some way.

      My husband usually gets me a card and makes a nice dinner. If he was soundly against Valentines, I would gladly accept a homemade “Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day” card and a “Valentines is capitalist bullshit” stir fry. It’s just about taking some time to do something for someone else just cus you like them so much.

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  • avatar

    Essie January 31, 2018, 1:59 pm

    Is it wrong to think it’s a stupid manufactured holiday and also be all “Woohoo, candy hearts”?

    I do celebrate it with my boyfriend, sort of. Between living in a bad-winter-weather-prone area, elderly parents with medical issues, and wacky on-call schedules at work, we long ago gave up trying to get together on Feb 14th. We just pick a day in the middle of February that works for both of us and make that our Valentines Day. We exchange mushy cards and get each other fancy chocolate and go out for a nice steak dinner.

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  • avatar

    dinoceros January 31, 2018, 2:12 pm

    I’ve not really been in a position to celebrate with someone most of the time. Otherwise, I like candy and I like all the cute home items they have out around this time — like a rolling pin I bought that had pink hearts on it once.

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  • avatar

    Fyodor January 31, 2018, 2:55 pm

    Celebrate isn’t the word that I’d use for having to participate.

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  • avatar

    Howdywiley January 31, 2018, 3:04 pm

    I celebrate love in all its forms everyday of the year.

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  • avatar

    JF January 31, 2018, 3:20 pm

    As I shove a pink conversation heart in my mouth on a really, truly, shit day. Tears I’m hiding but coming.

    I appreciate being remembered on valentines. Shove another heart in my mouth. I don’t require a huge deal. Actually a card is all i want. Ok. A pony and a card. But who doesn’t. I love planning to stay home. Not having the stress. We get a great steak or maybe lobster. Cook in sweat pants and have too much wine. Cuddle and laugh then pay for an on demand movie we’ve been wanting to watch.

    Going out is so exhausting. The tables are packed the menu is not necessarily what you want. We make a point or going out for a great meal sometime near the holiday then hide inside and cook and relax on the day. I love putting on a new dress and feeling good but not for triple the cost and hours waiting.

    I also truly dislike red roses. My dear always buys me Daisies. I always buy his favorite candy, because chocolate!!

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  • Portia

    Portia January 31, 2018, 3:47 pm

    I’ve been trying to remember if I’ve ever actually celebrated Valentines Day with a significant other and I really can’t remember doing any Valentines Day activities. I love candy hearts and chocolate, and I love any excuse to send cards, but the way I usually “celebrate” Valentines is by buying discount chocolate the next day…

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  • Copa

    Copa January 31, 2018, 4:07 pm

    When I’ve been in relationships, Valentine’s Day is always acknowledged but not a big deal. I think it’s okay to use it as a day to do something nice, but don’t have wild expectations. I spent several Valentine’s Days with one ex, and our first together was memorable because he tried very hard, and we were, like, 21 and got slightly dressed up to go to a nicer restaurant, which we seldom did cause neither of us had money. Our last was also memorable, but because we’d been arguing a lot and had a great night in playing board games, talking, drinking wine, and listening to music — I was 24 and the night gave me hope that we’d work out. (We didn’t.) With the next boyfriend, we’d just started dating and he sent me flowers and a bunch of chocolate kisses with a cute note about how he was sad he couldn’t give me the kisses in person. Aw. It was a small gesture, but it was sweet and I still think back on it fondly.

    When I’m single, the day doesn’t make me feel bad or oh-so-single. (NYE does that to me.)

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  • avatar

    Kate January 31, 2018, 4:07 pm

    We go out to dinner, but it’s nothing crazy. Our anniversary is a bigger deal. I do love conversation hearts, and actually so does he. I bought a bag already. He buys flowers every week at Trader Joe’s just so the house always has fresh flowers, and he gets a florist bouquet on special occasions… maybe Valentines Day. We’ll see! I will get him some kind of treat, maybe booze.

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  • avatar

    K January 31, 2018, 4:35 pm

    My boyfriend has gotten me flowers and wine on Valentine’s Day, and we’ve sometimes gone out to eat either before or after the actual day, or else ordered takeout (restaurants are too crazy on the actual day). I’ve gotten him a special dessert or something like that. So we mildly celebrate it, but if we didn’t do anything it wouldn’t be an issue. Our anniversary (4 years today!) is 2 weeks before V-Day, and his birthday is the week after V-day, so it’s a lot to celebrate in a 3 week time frame. We usually go out to a nice dinner for our anniversary rather than on V-day.

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph January 31, 2018, 4:47 pm

      Happy Anniversary! Me and my husband’s 5th anniversary is Friday and we also usually celebrate our anniversary rather than Valentines Day. Although I can’t really remember doing much for Valentine’s Day before we got married either.

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  • avatar

    TeacherNerd January 31, 2018, 4:40 pm

    This year Valentine’s Day falls on Ash Wednesday, and somehow that doesn’t quite lead to romantic feelings. 🙂 (Catholic here; abstain from eating meat on Ash Wednesday and fasting, so it’s a light food day.) That said, I’ve always been kinda ambivalent. I didn’t get all grumpy or get all anti-Valentine’s-Day about it when I was single, and I’m meh about it now that I’m married.

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  • hfantods

    hfantods January 31, 2018, 4:42 pm

    Having been single for 27 years, Valentine’s hasn’t been a big deal. Celebrated Galentines for a couple years. Cinnamon hearts are my vice! This year, my manfriend brought up what I wanted to do for Valentine’s and I think I said “low-key” twice, ha. He suggested going to the university planetarium which has a weekly thing on Wednesdays anyway. I thought that was a pretty nice idea. Maybe we will do dinner but it’ll be busy. I think I would like a card but that’s it.

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  • avatar

    ktfran January 31, 2018, 5:32 pm

    We don’t really do Valentine’s day. We stay in. I think the first year we made a special dinner. Last year, I think we ordered in. This year, who knows? We do get each other a card to acknowledge it, but that’s basically it.

    The problem I had with the LW from yesterday is that she was placing the burden solely on her husband, and he doesn’t even want to celebrate in the first place! As Wendy pointed out, both people should be willing participants.

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  • mylaray

    Mylaray January 31, 2018, 6:51 pm

    We don’t really do much. I like buying us a box of fancy chocolate. Last year, we started a tradition of making lasagna together on Valentine’s Day and we’re excited to do it again.

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    • avatar

      d2 January 31, 2018, 11:32 pm

      Mmm, homemade lasagna. Can I come over? No wait…
      Seriously though, that sounds like a nice tradition.

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  • avatar

    Ange January 31, 2018, 7:29 pm

    It never used to be a thing at all in Australia but it’s getting a bit more traction now. Most people my age and up laugh at it.

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    LisforLeslie January 31, 2018, 7:35 pm

    I celebrate Feb 15 when all of the chocolate is 50% off.

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    • avatar

      ktfran January 31, 2018, 7:55 pm

      Oh my god, yes!

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    • Copa

      Copa February 1, 2018, 9:45 am

      Hahaha. Yes!!! The day after Valentine’s Day and the day after Easter are two of my favorite candy days of the year.

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  • avatar

    FannyBrice January 31, 2018, 9:12 pm

    I always think of Valentines Day as a kid thing. My mom used to buy my sister & I a little gift (socks with hearts on them or something silly like that) and a handful of candy, but that was the extent of it at home – my parents never celebrate it to my knowledge. Maybe when you’re in high school in your first real relationship it’s worth a little effort?

    But as an adult in an adult relationship, I just hate it. I don’t want my husband to do anything sweet and romantic for me out of obligation or because hallmark tells him he has to – gross. I love when he does sweet, romantic things of his own accord, because he wants to, not because he feels pressured to. When we were dating, I told him I didn’t like it, I didn’t want to celebrate it, and I would refuse to accept any Flowers of Obligation.

    However…..he’s kinda into it. And so I have softened my stance a bit for him. Like, we buy each other cards and say happy Valentines Day to each other, but that’s it. Sometimes if I remember I buy him this candy he likes. He knows not to get me anything. Until the red gummy hearts are half off at least!

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  • avatar

    SpaceySteph February 1, 2018, 9:52 am

    Agree with FannyBrice, Valentine’s day has a high school connotation for me too. As in, I remember my first “boyfriend” in high school. He asked me to be his girlfriend (we were 14 so there wasn’t really a date involved) and then ignored me for 2 weeks, then came to school on Valentines day with a heart shaped box of chocolate. Which I ate but still dumped him a few days later because he went right back to not talking to me after that. I suppose he didn’t know what to do with a gf then, and I didn’t know what to do with a bf either.
    And I remember a boy my best friend swore for all of high school was in love with me but I was like “nah we’re just friends.” But then Valentine’s Day my senior year he left a letter on my car about how he was madly in love with me. Confession: I still have this letter, tucked away in a drawer in my house. Because even though I didn’t like him like that, it was really very sweet and I would pull it out later when I had my heart broken by other people and think about how at least one boy once had loved me and sent me a real Valentine. And even though I’m married now and still harbor no romantic feelings for this guy and haven’t had any contact with him in about 10 years, every time I clean the drawers and find the letter, I put it back.

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  • avatar

    MaggieB February 1, 2018, 2:43 pm

    I have no more objection to Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday or “obligatory romance” than I do Christmas (I’m not religious) or people’s birthdays. Having a reminder and ready-made occasion to do something nice for/with your partner is not something I resent, nor does it preclude you from doing something spontaneously nice other times.

    That said, it’s wayyyyyyyy down the priority list, and could get preempted for almost anything else that might come up in life. We usually use it as an excuse to make steak and crab legs at home, and maybe he’ll get me flowers or I’ll get him some little gadget he could use.

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  • avatar

    alsofreckly February 2, 2018, 2:06 pm

    Some years, we make a great dinner at home. Other years, we’ve organized a group of other couples to go out to a restaurant that people don’t typically go to on Valentine’s day (eg Ethiopian, Polish and Indian). You skip the prix fixe, the dress up and the weird vibe of many restaurants on Valentine’s Day, and those restaurants are usually thrilled to have a crowd!

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  • avatar

    Allornone February 5, 2018, 11:38 am

    In the old days of my relationship, my boyfriend and i would use it as an excuse for an extra date . Last year, we moved in together. Our first meal in our apartment happened to be on Valentine’s Day, where we had a carpet picnic (no furniture yet) from our favorite fast food place. It was by far my favorite Valentines’ ever. I plan on doing the same thing this year (with furniture though), and maybe make it a little tradition.

    People make such a big deal out of fancy meals and chocolate. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating Valentine’s (although it really is a manufactured holiday), but if you do, it should be in a way that’s meaningful to you, your partner and the love you share. Anything else misses the point.

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  • avatar

    LovingMommy February 6, 2018, 11:39 am

    We do celebrate valentines day. Actually we started dating 2 days before valentines day, so we celebrate our anniversary with the 2 of us and we celebrate valentines day with our kids as a family event.

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