Enterprising artist, Jeremy Brown, has given couples a new way to add a little color to their sex lives. Brown created a “Love is Art” kit that allows couples to create a masterpiece by “rolling around naked on a non-allergenic cotton canvas, in dollops of paint.” The kit, which ranges in price from $60 to $110, includes a plastic sheet, a specially treated canvas, non-toxic paint, and disposable slippers that couples can use “to walk to the shower to wash the paint off.”
One woman said on the artist’s website: “When we have people over and they look at the painting and ask where it’s from, we look at each other and smile and say, ‘Garage sale.’ It’s our inside joke that will never end…”
That’s funny — that’s exactly what Drew and I say when people ask where Jackson’s from.
So, what do you think of the art kit? Would you use it? Poll below.
[via Daily Mail]
bethany November 13, 2012, 1:10 pm
One of my friends bought this for her boyfriend, because he’s an artist… Last I asked about it they still hadn’t used it. I’ll have to check in again and see what they thought!
katie November 13, 2012, 1:13 pm
haha, ive seen this somewhere else… i dont remember where though. i think its neat! although, i wonder how pretty the painting would end up being… and i worry about getting paint in my vagina. i feel like id be so freaked out about the p in the v (see what i did there?) i wouldnt want to be all crazy and so it would end up being a dumb looking painting.
but in theory? totally cool.
theattack November 13, 2012, 1:27 pm
That was exactly my concern too!!! I would end up wanting to be very careful to avoid that, which would end up being boring. It also rules out oral, unless these are non-toxic, flavored paints. So that pretty much leaves good ole fashioned hand action and dry humping.
katie November 13, 2012, 1:54 pm
Right? And then of course you would end up with a very obvious print of the woman’s back, ending at her butt, with conspicuously places knee prints below that. And then it would ruin it because people would just be like, ew you had sex on that didn’t you? Lol
TaraMonster November 13, 2012, 2:31 pm
Well that’s only if you paint your entire back!
Also, think about it this way. You sit on your friends’ couches when you visit, don’t you? Eat food prepped on their kitchen counters? Sit at their dining room table. I’m just sayin’ the bedroom isn’t the only place to do it! Granted those places have (hopefully!) been since washed. But there’s no real way to know! I’ve seen too many episodes of Room Raiders to believe any area in a home is a sex free zone.
At least the painting is on the wall, where you don’t have to physically interact with it!
katie November 13, 2012, 3:16 pm
haha, i meant more that it wouldnt have that allure of a secret sex painting that you could say you “got at a garage sale”… but good points. haha
lemongrass November 13, 2012, 1:27 pm
Honestly, if my husband and I got this we would be far more likely to be throwing paint at each other and rubbing it in the other’s hair than we would to have sex on it.
Wendy, I’m going to steal your garage sale line. Just so you know.
theattack November 13, 2012, 1:38 pm
Lemongrass, I decided that I like a Toby Keith song, and I just had to tell you! haha
lemongrass November 13, 2012, 2:43 pm
Awesome! I don’t like all of his music but he just has such a fuck-me voice.
Kelly L. November 14, 2012, 10:48 am
OMG, he does. I’m still cranky over the way he treated the Dixie Chicks, and some of his lyrics really annoy me, but damn, every time I hear that voice. Drool.
LK7889 November 13, 2012, 2:04 pm
Yeah, me too.
jlyfsh November 13, 2012, 1:33 pm
I’m trying to figure out where in the house we could do this. I’m pretty sure somehow the dogs would get in and we would end up with paw prints all over ours.
Rachel November 13, 2012, 1:38 pm
Hahaha…that is a good point. And my dog and cat would not put on disposable slippers to walk through the rest of the house!
LK7889 November 13, 2012, 2:06 pm
You invite a guest to your house. They walk in and see blue dog prints all over the carpet. They ask you: “Just what has your dog been getting into…?”
Rachel November 13, 2012, 1:35 pm
I’d do it! Why not? And if the painting came out cool, I’d totally hang it in the living room.
TaraMonster November 13, 2012, 1:44 pm
I think this is fantastic. It would be up in my living room with a little light over the top and a tiny caption plaque underneath that reads: Vous êtes à la recherche de notre vie sexuelle. 🙂
Now I just need to find someone who will do this with me!
(Sorry if the French is off. My second language is Spanish, but art captions have to be in French if they’re going to be sufficiently twee! I used Google translate. Heh.)
Taylor November 14, 2012, 12:09 pm
I’m too lazy to google translate, what does it mean? Something something our sex life?
GatorGirl November 13, 2012, 2:26 pm
Personally, I think this is stupid. It’s overpriced too.
I don’t want a bunch of bodily fluids mixed with paint hanging on my wall.
Fabelle November 13, 2012, 2:30 pm
Aw, I think this would be fun! I’d hang it up & tell everybody what it really was, too.
lemongrass November 13, 2012, 2:44 pm
“I don’t know what gallery you got that painting at but just so you know, it smells like sex.”
Diablo November 13, 2012, 2:52 pm
My sweetie is a neat freak who changes the sheets within a half- hour (usually) after any naughty business. For her, the idea that there would be this permanently dirty sheet (canvas, whatever) in the house AT ALL, much less displayed anywhere, would be a total dealbreaker. Right now, i know there is a sheet in our house from yesterday’s laundry that has not yet been FOLDED. We are both at work right now. I KNOW she is aware of this unfolded sheet, and will not feel entirely OK until it has been folded. So I kinda doubt this product would be for us.
Diablo November 13, 2012, 3:01 pm
PS – The chocolate love paint we were once given didn’t fare too well either. I’m not convinced that chocolate is a good flavour for love, and visually, a bunch o’ chocolate on your personal regions is, i would say, iffy at best.
lemongrass November 13, 2012, 3:09 pm
Just use a towel! So much less work than changing the sheets.
Eagle Eye November 13, 2012, 3:22 pm
Lol, my boyfriend, God bless him, would Lose. His. Sh!t. I love him so much but I am a mess, and he is a dedicated neat freak, he practically follows me around as I move throughout the house picking up after me (what! I’ll get to it later…), so, I don’t know if he could emotionally handle this…
Fabelle November 13, 2012, 3:38 pm
yeah, my boyfriend would probably actually not be down with this, now that I think about it. He hates even putting lotion or sunscreen on because of the goopy-ness.
Michelle.Lea November 13, 2012, 4:13 pm
i’m with lemongrass… use a towel!! what if you decided to have sex more than once a day? that’s a lot of sheet changing…
Diablo November 13, 2012, 5:26 pm
I would gladly exchange any amount of sheet-changing for any equivalent amount of sex. More than once a day? Not a problem I’ve had to cope with…. [tear rolls slowly down cheek]
LW November 13, 2012, 3:35 pm
This sounds kinda gross actually. I’m not a fan of rolling around in squishy liquids.
Addie Pray November 13, 2012, 3:45 pm
One big concern as that there will be unflattering blobs where my ass and gut were, and that my mother will recognize those blobs.
bittergaymark November 13, 2012, 7:35 pm
Wow… Has our appreciation for Art fallen so much that the creation of two fools rolling around on a canvas smeared with paint can now be labeled art and furthermore accepted by many as such?
Eagle Eye November 13, 2012, 9:13 pm
I’m an art historian and the stuff I see on flash sale sites makes me sad, so, yeah, this mostly makes me weep a bit for humanity….
Although I can’t even do 20th century art…and really anything after 1950s makes me weep a little…
KKZ November 14, 2012, 10:02 am
Art is finding beauty in unexpected places – like sex prints.
Maybe this isn’t “Capital-A Art” in the museum sense, but art is so very subjective that I reject the idea of boxing it up in such a way that the “paintings” created with this method would be automatically ruled out.
Colloquielle November 13, 2012, 10:15 pm
Non-allergenic cotton canvas: Complete crock, due to the fact that ALL ARTIST CANVAS IS COTTON AND NON-ALLERGENIC. $30 for an untreated roll that is 2yardsX3yards.
Plastic sheet: What, you can’t find a tarp at the dollar store? $5 at most.
Non-toxic paint: There are children’s painting kits full of nontoxic paint that cost maybe $15.
Disposable slippers: You mean flip-flops?
So, $60 I would be okay with if only because it’d save me driving time. But $110 is a completely shameless markup.
bittergaymark November 14, 2012, 12:45 am
Well, surprise, surprise. People out there are actually TRYING to make money…
Colloquielle November 14, 2012, 9:48 pm
For a nearly 100% increase, “TRYING” is an understatement. Caps and all.
Samantha November 14, 2012, 2:19 am
It reminds me a little of Maude Lebowski and her weird flying naked painting in The Big Lebowski. If I even attempted this, I wouldn’t be able to stop saying “VAGINA” in her voice.
Nookie November 14, 2012, 7:15 am
I’m of the opinion that it’s an interesting idea and if couples are down with it, go to town on the cheap. I’m sure you can get water-soluble paints that won’t get up your naughty bits if you’re worried about that. Personally, I don’t have the wall space… and it would probably just end up looking like a bunch of paint smeared all over the paper, not visually very interesting.
KKZ November 14, 2012, 10:13 am
Ok, sex is fun and all, but I really miss my little-kid days of arts and crafts, so I have a feeling I’d get a little too preoccupied with making a really cool painting than having really good sex, lol.
I do think this would be a lot of fun, though. My husband isn’t the artsy type, so if I said “let’s make a painting together” he would probably be meh… but “let’s make a sex painting together” might get his interest.
And I’m sure reasonable precautions could be taken to prevent paint from getting in any orifices. Condoms for the guy (if it gets paint on it, take it off and put on a new one before any further penetration) and positions that keep the ladybits off the floor. Limit oral to the beginning before things get really really messy, maybe he goes down and you make paint angels with your arms? LOL!
OMG. HOW FUN WOULD THIS BE WITH BLACKLIGHT PAINT.
…Okay, this is giving me way too many ideas. Clearly.