Three quickies-in-one today:
You’re offended that you got your own invitation instead of being counted as your boyfriend’s plus one? Talk about really looking for something to be offended by! You should feel so relieved and flattered to have been personally invited, by name, especially since you know that your presence could potentially shift the social dynamic. That means that your presence is worth enough to risk that potential. And you’re offended that you weren’t, instead, extended an impersonal invitation as your boyfriend’s plus-one? Pick your battles in life; this is most definitely NOT one of them!
You know what’s a bigger deal than marrying someone with a child? Marrying someone who never said a peep about that child for eight months (and maybe never would have if his sister hadn’t spilled the beans). I was watching the reboot of the class dating show, Love Connection, last night and one of the contestants was a little hurt that her date didn’t mention on their first date that he had a daughter. Because normal people mention that kind of thing very early on. Someone who keeps his own child a secret for eight months is not husband-material. Move on.
If you have to ask whether it was your tone that pissed off your sister, it was probably your tone. Was it accusatory? Were you suspicious of any wrong-doing on your sister’s part? If so, that suspicion probably came through your tone. But maybe you have a right to be suspicious of wrong-doing, I don’t know. What would help is whether you discussed your mother’s will and final wishes with her before she died. What was her reason for making your sister an executor and not you? If you have reason to believe your sister is hiding something from you or not being entirely forthcoming, consider what it is you might have to gain against what you have to lose (potentially, your relationship with your sister). It is worth it to you to continue pressing? Regardless, a genuine apology to your sister about your tone — if you feel it was accusatory — could help smooth ruffled feathers and defuse the situation moving forward.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.