Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Reader of the Week: Meet silver_dragon_girl

There was such an overwhelming response when I asked readers to introduce themselves on a weekend open thread that I decided to give you all a weekly column to do just that. I’ve always said this site wouldn’t be what it is without the engagement and participation of its readers and this column is the place to learn more about who you are what makes you tick. After the jump, let’s meet silver_dragon_girl.


1. What’s your name, age and whereabouts?

My name is Katie, aka “silver_dragon_girl.” I’m 24 years old, and I live in North Dakota. I’m not from ND originally, and I’m hoping to move home sometime next spring or summer.

2. What’s your relationship status?

We-elll…there’s this guy….and I really like him…and we just started talking/dating like a month ago (I know), but he lives far away (I know), so we finally met up (I know), and we’re official now (I know), but for some reason I don’t want to call him my “boyfriend” because for the first time in my life I feel like that word is kind of childish, and doesn’t accurately describe his role in my life…is that weird? OMG I need to write to Wendy for advice on this issue…

Yes, I know, I’m being kind of crazy…all the commenters are probably going to jump on me and tell me to slow down and hit the brakes and all that stuff (and hey, I’d tell me the same thing), but…he just makes me SO FREAKIN’ HAPPY. 🙂

3. How do you spend your weekdays?

Well, I work full time, and then I teach a class on top of that, which keeps me pretty busy. Grading papers takes a looong time, and so do lesson plans (which is what I should be doing now, actually). I also workout 4-5 days a week because I’m on a health kick (have lost almost 20 pounds over the last three and a half months). Other than that I’m pretty boring. Well, I guess those things are all kind of boring, too.

4. How do you spend your free time?

Um, I watch TV, read, and surf the internet obsessively…I don’t have any fun or interesting hobbies, really. I tend to pick them up and then get tired of them after the newness wears off. I’ve done knitting, jewelry-making, writing a novel (off and on- I still claim that one sometimes), baking (OK, I still bake a lot), giving people unsolicited advice on the internet, etc… I like to go do stuff in the community when I can, but I live in a tiny, tiny town, which limits my options quite a bit.

5. What are your top likes and dislikes?

Likes: My cat (Shakespeare), books, the kind of movies that change your life, rainy days, chocolate, ice cream, tomatoes, The Sims Medieval, shiraz, autumn leaves, boots/jacket/scarf outfits, Saturday mornings, naps in the sun, my “Country Kettle Corn” scented candle from Wal-Mart, etc.

Dislikes: Ben Stiller movies, onions, when I accidentally burn the popcorn, living so far away from my family, negativity, more than three inches of snow, when people talk to me at the gym when I have my ear-buds in and am clearly in the zone, when there is complimentary coffee but no creamer, music snobs.

6. What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?

When I was in a long-distance relationship last year, I was debating flying to see my then-boyfriend over Memorial Day weekend. It was more money than I could really afford, but if I didn’t go then I wouldn’t have seen him for another month or two. I was moaning about it to my friend, whom I totally expected to tell me not to go, but instead she said she thought I should go. She said, “If you’re really serious about this relationship you should go for it.”

Well, the relationship crashed and burned a few months later, but I still don’t regret going to see him. We had a great weekend together, and it’s a memory I still cherish even with the way things ended. What’s more, I will never forget that advice. “Putting myself out there,” being vulnerable and revealing my emotions, is something I really struggle with in relationships. So for me, making a conscious effort to take the risk and really “go for it” is important. Otherwise I would be a total hermit.

7. What’s the best relationship lesson you’ve ever learned?

When you get that gut feeling in your stomach that it isn’t going to work out, you should listen to it. Because no matter how happy you are two hours later when he wakes up and you’re doing the usual couple-y things together and having a great time, the gut feeling will still be there the next night. And the next, and the next, until pretty soon it’s all you can think about and you find yourself playing relationship chicken with someone, neither one wanting to pull the trigger but both knowing you need to end it.

8. Besides DearWendy.com, what are some of your favorite websites?

Caloriecount.about.com is a good one for anything related to health, fitness, or weight-loss. They have some pretty good forums, and I go there quite a bit. If anyone decides to check it out I have the same user name there as on DearWendy. Cracked.com has some super funny articles…if it’s been a while and I need to catch up I can spend HOURS killing time there. I check theberry.com almost every day for random cute/funny photos from the internet. My new favorite shopping site is ideeli.com. I don’t buy a lot, because I’m trying to save my money, but I go every day to check out their sales, which are awesome. Plus, it’s different stuff every day!

*If you’d like to be a Reader of the Week, shoot me an email at wendy@dearwendy.com with “Reader of the Week” in the subject line and I’ll send you some questions to answer.

40 comments… add one
  • McLovin November 8, 2011, 11:47 am

    Really good to meet you Katie. I feel absolutely no shame in admitting that I always look for your comments! You’re a riot! Best of luck to you getting back “home” as soon as possible.

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    • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 1:16 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

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  • Calliopedork November 8, 2011, 11:47 am

    Nice to meet-ish you. I love cracked it is my fave time suck

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  • PamplemousseRose November 8, 2011, 11:57 am

    I didn’t want to use the term “boyfriend” either! It sounded rather highschoolish to me (esp. at 33) so after some coffee-time chats with my coworkers, I decided to call him my “fella” which was perfect for me. On the flip-side I’m his “gal” to go along with it…

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    • Samantha November 8, 2011, 2:32 pm

      Love it! I use Sig. O. to write about my dude. Or I call him my dude.

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  • honeybeenicki November 8, 2011, 12:05 pm

    Nice to “meet” you! Congratulations on the weight loss 🙂 A bunch of people in my office are on these crazy weight loss kicks – you know, the ones that will never work because its not something they can keep up forever, but so far I’ve managed to avoid it. I did drop soda out of my diet and lost 17 lbs in 3 months, so that was good 🙂 And I must say, if you burn the popcorn enough, you’ll learn to love it. That’s how we eat it in our house.

    Anyway… random plug for my new blog (click my name to get to it) especially if anyone is from WI or northern Illinois. Its a music review blog.

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    • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 1:24 pm

      Congrats on cutting out soda! I’m still addicted to diet Coke…I just can’t seem to stop!

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      • bittergaymark November 8, 2011, 1:30 pm

        Diet Coke (and I am a recovering addict) is bad for you in that it tricks your body into thinking it’s drinking sugar… My latest tactic for dealing with my Diet Coke addiction, is I can ONLY order it when out. Meaning, I can’t keep it in the house. (I drink A LOT of iced tea at home, and I actually prefer that unsweetened.) But yeah, the craving does NOT seem to go away. I went on my anti diet coke kick in august and I still miss em like crazy. But having one or two a week makes them all the more better. 🙂

      • honeybeenicki November 8, 2011, 1:59 pm

        You appreciate it more when you don’t have as much 🙂

      • splash November 8, 2011, 2:07 pm

        I have a keurig and lovelovelove the iced teas you can make with it. SO easy and pretty good.

      • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 3:04 pm

        Omg, I know…every time I “quit” I’ll randomly allow myself one and it’s always SO GOOD after being bereft!

      • Rachel November 8, 2011, 3:09 pm

        That’s my strategy too. If I kept it in the house, I would be drinking it constantly.

      • Budj November 8, 2011, 4:27 pm

        I’m no nutrion expert, but from what I’ve “learned” fake sugar in diet soda isn’t digested the same as real sugar. They do, however, still raise your insulin levels like real sugar does so it is just as bad for you if you are eating carbs while drinking it because your body wants to convert those carbs to fat when your insulin spikes.

        I’m sure this doesn’t help you in your quest to cut it out…haha….I just try and drink it not at meal times and no more than 1 every couple or few days.

      • callmehobo November 9, 2011, 7:41 am

        They bind the sugars to chemicals that your body can’t physically metabolize (some can even be bad for you- like benzene) so you get to enjoy the sweet taste, but your body doesn’t actually produce any calories.

      • LTC039 November 8, 2011, 11:56 pm

        Actually the opposite happened to me. I used to be a soda addict too & I just stopped drinking it one day & now, I don’t like it! I can’t finish a can of soda bc it just tastes like pure sugar to me & it grosses me out…
        Surprisingly, it wasn’t that difficult. I truly prefer water.
        I know you can do it!!

      • 6napkinburger November 8, 2011, 1:48 pm

        Try substituting (unsweetened) iced green tea (or hot tea now that its getting colder). Clearly: not as satisfying. But like a billion times better for you.

      • GatorGirl November 8, 2011, 1:53 pm

        I love love love Diet Coke. So hard to kick that habit. I don’t keep it in the house much any more. I try to drink water instead. But I let my self have it when I’m out.

        Or when I’m at the grocery store because they have a fountain soda machine and it is so nice to enjoy an icy cold fountain Diet Coke grocery shop.

      • honeybeenicki November 8, 2011, 1:58 pm

        I was a Mt Dew junkie but after I quit drinking it for about 2 weeks, I tried to have one again and I just couldn’t drink it. It was too sugary and syrupy. Now when I need a little kick, I drink a Dr. Pepper, but keep those to an absolute minimum (maybe 1 a week if not less). When I quit drinking the soda, I went through horrible caffeine withdrawal, so I started taking excedrin once a day to get a little caffeine and take care of the headache. I did that for about a week and now its pretty much water all the time.

  • Sailorbabe November 8, 2011, 12:14 pm

    Nice to “meet” you! Kudos on the health kick!

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  • Eljay November 8, 2011, 12:34 pm

    Great to meet you, Katie! Congrats on the weightloss via a healthy lifestyle, as opposed to the secret to my “success” – I’ve lost 20 lbs on the “Stress and Who The Hell Has Time To Eat” diet! I do envy your baking skills too, I keep saying I’m going to take a class, but somehow life keeps getting in the way.

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  • TheOtherMe November 8, 2011, 12:57 pm

    Hi Katie !! so nice to get a little bit more info on you, I also look forward to reading your comments 😀

    — I was hoping to see your pic 🙁

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    • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 1:13 pm

      I sent one at first, but then sort of panicked…I decided to keep the anonymity. Sorry 🙁 Maybe one of these days I’ll stop being such a worrywort and put one as my gravatar pic 🙂

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    • McLovin November 8, 2011, 1:25 pm

      I was hoping the same thing……but I completely respect reasons not to. You, however, have the most amazing eyes and it’s almost a shame that not everyone gets to see them with each one of your comments.

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      • TheOtherMe November 8, 2011, 1:47 pm

        Katie, you can change your avatar pic for one day if you want 😉

  • bittergaymark November 8, 2011, 1:13 pm

    However did you wind up in North Dakota? I grew up there (in Fargo) and it was actually a pretty great place to grow up… But I imagine that moving there could be a real case of culture shock… The winters up there are beyond rough. That said, I miss North Dakota at times. My folks JUST sold the house there this Fall and it was a real surprise as it sold FAST. We had all been gearing up for one last Christmas in Fargo, but it was not meant to be… It’s also odd to think I will never again walk through let alone spend the night in the house I grew up.

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    • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 1:23 pm

      It’s a long story…the short version is that a friend of mine from college helped me find a job up here when I was struggling after college. Yes, the winters are brutal- we had our first snow this weekend. 🙁 But it’s pretty awesome in the summer, I have to say!

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    • 6napkinburger November 8, 2011, 1:24 pm

      I’m pretty sure I saw something on the news about North Dakota being (in my words, not theirs) ‘the new “go west young man”‘ destination. That there are tons of jobs out there (oil fields or something? I was in a restaurant with the news on in the back) and that basically anyone willing and able to work can find a job. So maybe it was to work for one of those companies. Speculating is fun. (get it? anyone?)

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      • bittergaymark November 8, 2011, 1:32 pm

        Williston, North Dakota. Yeah, it’s a new boomtown and it’s insane. There is a real housing shortage and workers are paid tons of money. A friend sent me a bizarre article about how even strippers are making 2,000 dollars a week there…

      • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 3:05 pm

        DAMN. Time for a career change….!

      • McLovin November 10, 2011, 1:22 am


      • L November 8, 2011, 2:46 pm

        One of my close friends goes to school in Minot, and her now ex boyfriend was working in the oil field. He was/is getting $400-500 per day. There were so few apartments available that some people were basically living in hotels until the apartment complexes were built. Fortunately my friend is now in a cozy apartment with a roommate and the apartment fits her budget, but this summer the housing market was absolutely insane.

      • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 3:06 pm

        I live near there. Yeah, it was bad before, with the oil workers, but since the flooding it’s just impossible to find affordable housing. What little there is is heinously overpriced.

  • redheadblogger November 8, 2011, 1:33 pm

    I understand the boyfriend thing! I refer to mine as my “manfriend.” He’s 32, I’m 27 – he’s not a boy and it just feels goofy to call him that. It’s also pretty funny to see people react when I call him my manfriend…some think it’s funny, others think I’m weird. They’re both right 🙂

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  • NicoleMarie November 8, 2011, 1:36 pm

    Yay Sims Medieval (I can waste a few hours that way) and boo onions (disgusting)!

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    • KKZ November 8, 2011, 4:19 pm

      Seconded on Sims Medieval! I just switched from a night job to a day job recently and I miss all the hours I used to kill during the day playing Sims. It’s SO addictive.

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  • Addie Pray November 8, 2011, 2:03 pm

    Nice to meet you! Haha, Ben Stiller movies and music snobs — me too!

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  • splash November 8, 2011, 2:08 pm

    Nice to meet you! is that your kitty in your avatar?

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    • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 3:07 pm

      Yes, she was a kitten there 🙂

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  • fast eddie November 8, 2011, 3:51 pm

    Re: Putting on the brakes. DON’T DO IT! Put all the energy you can into every relationship especially a romantic one. It’s time well spent when it’s applied to being happy. Someone wiser then myself said that two things separate us from happiness, regret for the past and fear of the future. This is a basic tenet of Buddhism and one that I agree with.

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    • silver_dragon_girl November 8, 2011, 4:02 pm

      I like that, eddie, and it’s actually something I need to hear today. Thank you!! 🙂

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