Dear Wendy readers are some of the most intelligent, stylish, super-cool people around (it’s a proven fact), so it’s a no-brainer to feature some of their favorite products. Many of the recommended products happen to be affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the affiliate links. As always, I appreciate your support! Today’s recommendations comes from the notorious Jimmy Jam, everyone’s favorite shit-stirrer from the forums. Jimmy Jam is a retired MMA fighter and is now in Industrial Sales. He lives with his wife in Palm Beach, Florida. He enjoys watching MMA fights and indulging in fine food – stone crabs! – and fine liquors, and he heads to Key West when he needs to relax. As one of our resident men, he thought he’d share some of his current favorite things for those of us thinking about Father’s Day coming up in a few weeks and graduation season which is upon us.
These shorts are the perfect laid-back Nantucket-style shorts, very high quality, very comfortable, at a great price. I have several in various colors…
Eleven James like Rent The Runway, or Bag, Borrow, or Steal for men’s watches. You pay a monthly fee and get a luxury watch to impress people, look the part, or just try before you buy. I’m currently wearing this six-thousand-dollar-plus watch right now.
This hair pomade smells incredible and is an all around great styling product and “affordable luxury.”
This hot sauce comes in many flavors: Buffalo, Sweet & Tangy, etc., and lets you cook wings that make people drool. It’s the absolute gold standard of wing sauce.
This travel bag is an investment, but it will last a lifetime. It fits a very surprising amount of clothing, is tough and durable, and makes you look like a baller. Hugh Jackman and Justin Timberlake have it. Buy it pre-owned and save, or blow your bonus on it new. You won’t regret it.
Thanks, Jimmy Jam!
If you have some products you’d like to recommend to the DW audience, shoot me an email at wendy@dearwendy.com with links to five recommendations. (Write “reader recs” in the subject line, please.) Your recommendations can be from any store or website, but they need to be accessible online. If your list is a good fit for the site, I’ll ask you to write a brief description of each item/explain what you love so much about it.
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GertiethDino June 2, 2016, 12:07 pm
That bag costs more than my rent!
othy June 2, 2016, 1:16 pm
The leather ones cost more than my car…
snoopy128 June 2, 2016, 12:08 pm
Hot damn. That Louis Vuitton travel bag is baller.
Matt June 2, 2016, 12:18 pm
Now for a guys input. I’m in the same predicament. My fiancée just broke the news to me that she wants to keep her name and I’m devastated. Now before some of you ladies rip me to shreds understand that’s she’s one of the most independent, strong willed women I’ve ever met. Me being the laid back one usually caves in on certain things. However, I don’t think this will be one.
I can’t stress enough is that it’s not about power. I live in the 21st century and while I come from a moderate household I obviously don’t view her as property. I view my name as the ultimate gift. Something I’ll only give once to the most special person in my life. Something that unites us more than just the rings on our fingers. Something that on tax returns, vacation reservations, bank accounts, birth certificates, etc. shows that we are one cohesive family. And her denial of my name feels like it’s simply not good enough for her.
Now some of you might say “well if it’s just for unity, why not take her name or create a new one”? And my answer is quite simple, my bloodline and name ends with me. If I had a brother or male cousin, and they had a son then I would be more open to the idea. She has two brothers who should carry on her name.
All in all I love her very much. And as much as I would love to say this shouldn’t be something holding me back from marriage, it is. As should anything that one holds dear to their heart.
saneinca June 2, 2016, 1:50 pm
It has got nothing to do with you. Your children will carry your name ( if you are planning on having any).
Thee are many people who will not change their names. ( my mom for one. She was already well educated and established in her field before she married my dad). She felt it was too much hassle to go through legal name change to her certificates, at work and publishing ) I and my sister did not change. My SIL did not. It does not effect any of our families.
You may like her to change her name but she doesn’t. Get over yourself and let it be.
dinoceros June 2, 2016, 2:48 pm
I get that people feel strongly about this, but there are times where you have to put emotion aside and think logically. Do you honestly think that her not taking your name means she loves you less? Like really? And do you really not want to marry her if she doesn’t take your name?
You give what you consider a valid reason for not taking her name. And you expect others to respect it even if it doesn’t make sense to them. Yet, you are not willing to see her reasons as valid because you don’t understand them. If you do in fact view her as an autonomous human, then you should grant her the same right to make choices about her name. And as an autonomous human yourself, you don’t have to give in to emotion. Just because you *feel* like she doesn’t care, doesn’t mean you can’t tell yourself that it’s kind of silly to think that way.
emily85 June 2, 2016, 2:52 pm
Trust me, your name isn’t a gift. If I were your fiancee and read this post, I’d definitely call the whole thing off.
Kate June 2, 2016, 2:52 pm
Is this conversation meant to be on another thread?
I would say, your name is not a gift. And if her preference to keep her name is holding you back from marrying her, you two might not be as well suited as you think. I can see wanting your name to go on with your kids, but why does she have to take yours?
Allison June 2, 2016, 4:40 pm
I have already told my boyfriend of nearly 2.5 years that if we get married, I am keeping my name. It has nothing to do with his name; I had decided this before I met him. It’s about keeping me connected to my past while still moving forward with my future. I love the sound of my name; I love that it will always connect me to my parents, grandparents, and my sister. He has already told me that he is the last person in his bloodline with his last name, which is very rare, and he wants his future children, should he have any, to carry his name. While I’d love for them to have my name too, that would be too long of a name for anyone to have, so I’ve compromised and said that our children can carry his name if I keep mine.
Dear Wendy June 2, 2016, 5:00 pm
Oh, gag.
Skyblossom June 2, 2016, 5:01 pm
I kept my name when we got married. It had nothing to do with not loving him or being committed to him. It had everything to do with it being my identity, my heritage, my background. My name is me and his name is him. I would never consider his name a gift to me, I’d find that argument pathetic so I hope you haven’t told her that. How could his name be a gift to me? It would be insisting that I take his identity.
For all those things you mention like birth certificates, tax forms, vacation reservations and bank accounts it has made absolutely no difference. It has been a bonus to me to still have the name that appears on my birth certificate. I have never had to document a name change. I have never had to prove that I am the person listed on the birth certificate because I still have the name on my birth certificate. If you want to give your fiance a gift quit demanding that she change her name. She is who she is just as much as you are who you are. Her not taking your name will have nothing to do with whether you pass on your name to your children.
Ange June 2, 2016, 5:05 pm
My husband thought the same as you at first. It was kind of my fault, I initially agreed to take his name but as the time got closer I just couldn’t see myself doing it and told him so. He responded with arguments like ‘how will people know we’re a couple’ and ‘it will feel like less of a commitment’ and stuff like what you’re saying. I stuck to my guns and we had a pretty decent argument about it. Now, 3 years later, nobody could give two shits. All that stuff he feared about it has meant nothing in the grander scheme of our commitment to each other. I don’t care if I occasionally get called Mrs HisName and he calls us a very cute portmanteau of our surnames for fun.
.
Trust me, when you finish the wedding and face sharing a life with someone it’s not the name that matters.
Skyblossom June 2, 2016, 5:22 pm
I often think that people who need a show of commitment aren’t feeling that the commitment is there. I have never felt the need to show or prove to anyone that we are a couple and no one has ever questioned whether we are a couple.
@Matt If you need proof of commitment your relationship isn’t ready for marriage. When you are ready for marriage there will be no doubt in your mind that the two of you are committed for life. No one cares whether you and your spouse have the same. Absolutely no one cares. No one asks whether you are really a family. No one asks if you are married. No one asks if you are traveling together. No one asks if you had children together. You are creating problems in your head that don’t exist.
Skyblossom June 2, 2016, 5:05 pm
“Me being the laid back one usually caves in on certain things. However, I don’t think this will be one.”
You don’t get to choose her name for her so this isn’t a thing where you cave or don’t cave. You either marry her as she is or you move on to someone else. That’s the real choice.
Skyblossom June 3, 2016, 11:27 am
“Now some of you might say “well if it’s just for unity, why not take her name or create a new one”? And my answer is quite simple, my bloodline and name ends with me. If I had a brother or male cousin, and they had a son then I would be more open to the idea. She has two brothers who should carry on her name.”
So you want family cohesion, which you seem to think has everything to do about having the same name, but you value passing on your own name more highly than the family cohesion. You have no guarantee that you will have children and if you do have children you have no guarantee that you will have a son. Your argument is feeble.
You can’t have it both ways. You either value having the same name so highly that you are willing to take hers or you value passing on your name more than having everyone in the family have the same name. Pick one instead of both.
Family cohesion comes about not because of a name but because of how you treat each other. It comes from respecting each other and supporting each other. It means planning your future together. It means working together to reach shared goals. It means you value each other and accept each other as you are. Right now you are the one breaking the cohesion by trying to force your name on her. That means you don’t respect her and who she is and the value of her name to her. I suggest you put off getting married for a while. You sound too immature and I don’t mean that in a mean way. Just factual. I can’t see a marriage lasting where you begin it by demanding that she change her name and you aren’t going to cave on that. There is no respect for her in that demand. No respect for her opinion. No respect for who she is. You sound insecure. Why would you need to prove to total strangers at a ticket location that you are cohesive because you have the same name? Anyone who knows you will know whether the two of you have a cohesive relationship and they won’t base that opinion on your last names. So you are trying to prove something to someone. Why? What insecurities do you have? You need to address those before you get married or your marriage won’t last. There are all kinds of things that make or break marriages and last names aren’t one of those things.
Portia June 3, 2016, 11:59 am
I think everyone else pretty much covered things but… you can’t have it every way you want. You love that she’s strong-willed and independent, so you love the person that she is. But this idea of a single last name is so strong that you’re reconsidering the relationship (“…something holding me back from marriage”). You’re putting her in a position where I’d she doesn’t choose the specific option you’ve laid out, talking your name, you’re not a cohesive family? That’s bullshit. What about building a life, getting married, supporting each other through good times and bad – those are what makes a family.
for_cutie June 2, 2016, 12:21 pm
Oooh those watches. My husband isn’t into that but we have a few guy friendss who are. I will have to send them this link so they can out-do each other with their “wrist rockets.”
MaterialsGirl June 2, 2016, 1:19 pm
Men and watches. I didn’t know it was such a thing until recently when I tried to get a watch for RadioStar. He is very particular. Like, crazily so. I tried to get him a nice Tag and the one he MUST have is from a few years ago with a white face. BUT NOT TOOO WHITE. and it has to match his shoes and belt . I have a picky man on my hands.
ktfran June 2, 2016, 1:23 pm
The guy is in to nice watches too. Apparently, he has some pricey movado watch or something. I don’t even know.
MaterialsGirl June 2, 2016, 1:24 pm
Yeah I told him my original price range and suddenly it morphed to 5k. I was like WTF! Anyway, no watch now until he finds the ‘perfect’ one. And then it’s his money too 😉
ktfran June 2, 2016, 1:29 pm
That will work out nicely then! Tell him to take all the time he needs.
Kate June 2, 2016, 4:34 pm
The “engagement watch” is a thing now. I got my husband a nice Movado when we got engaged, and now a bunch of his friends are getting engagement watches too. He talks it up.
MaterialsGirl June 2, 2016, 4:46 pm
yeah that’s what I had wanted to do.. but he’s foiled my plan! I get ring, you get watch. Seems like a slightly more equitable exchange.
snoopy128 June 2, 2016, 11:34 pm
My mom gave my dad an engagement watch way back in the day. But watches do stop working (or at least his did).
I asked the bf if he wanted one, but he declined. His loss!
kare June 2, 2016, 1:20 pm
My friend’s entire luggage set is Louis Vuitton, but I didn’t realize how much she had invested in it.
veritek33 June 2, 2016, 2:00 pm
Damn JJ, you’ve got some expensive tastes! Nice stuff though
zombeyonce June 3, 2016, 1:44 pm
Yeah, I thought “I can’t afford most of this stuff, but surely I can buy some yummy hot sauce!” until I saw that the hot sauce is $43. For one 12oz bottle. $43. $43. If I keep writing it, maybe it will make it real in my head.
Jimmyjamm June 3, 2016, 4:31 pm
Hey all.
Thank you for the comments.
The Wing It sauce is not that expensive , you can actually find at Stop and Shop for like 5.69 , 43 is for like a case of it.
The bag is worth it’s value alone based on the stares I get in hotel elevators.
The watch rentals can be scaled to personal income taste and they will customize as well. No buyers remorse to boot.
Shorts are high class on a beer budget.
It is almost Father’s Day treat your men well.