Reply To: Am I wrong for expecting my partner to pay me

This is a pretty messed up situation. May first impression is that he’s maintaining control of the money because he wants to maintain control over YOU.

Most of what I’m going to suggest is not actionably now, but things to do in the future.
1. A home purchase must be something both parties are on board with. If you don’t want a house that you can’t cover half the costs, then you don’t get a house where you can’t cover half the costs. If he won’t agree to a cheaper one, you don’t buy a house.

2. Anything involving money must be talked about explicitly. Don’t make assumptions. You mention that if the roles were reversed you would pay him. That doesn’t make much of a difference. If you supported him with the expectation that he would support you if the financial situation was reversed, this needed to be stated clearly up front.

3. Do not accept his bullshit argument that the money is “safer” with him. It’s your money. Do not drop this.