I’m not proud of the way I behaved either, but as far as guilt goes, I actually felt little for that. I beat myself up endlessly for the silliest things, but for me, in that instance, our relationship was so separate (ktfran is right- therapy is great for uncovering why you did that instead of end it) it made total sense to me that I felt neglected and uncared for and sought outside attention. That fiancé, I wouldn’t see all day (product design) and he’d fall asleep eating dinner because he was work obsessed. So glad I’m not doing that anymore.
That relationship and figuring out what happened made me ready for the real deal. Honest communication is the way to go in healthy relationships, but not when you’re breaking off an engagement and want to cut the strings with less emotional pain dealt to him.