Reply To: “It’s Been Three Years and I Still Haven’t Met His Kids”

Take a step back and look at this from his kids’ perspective.

Three years ago, when they were 10 and 11, a global pandemic hit that threw their lives into chaos. Lockdowns, online school, loss of in person contact, possibly knowing people who got sick or even died from a deadly disease. Definitely fear that someone they loved would.

In the middle of that, their dad meets and moves in with you in a matter of months. He hides that from them for, what – nearly a year? And their parents get a divorce. More chaos and uncertainty.

Right or wrong, they likely blame you as The Other Woman who is responsible for the divorce and the tangible reason for all of the turmoil in their lives.

If you’ve been paying attention to the news at all, you’ll see that teens are NOT OKAY right now and your boyfriend is absolutely correct to not force a relationship with you on his kids. He sounds like he’s being a good dad – spending time with his kids, meeting them where they are and trying to be a source of support and stability during a hard time in their lives.

And while it may sting that they don’t want anything to do with you right now, the only thing you’ll accomplish be trying to force it is more anger and resentment. So take a big old step back here and enjoy your relationship as it is. His kids know about you. Obviously. And when they want to meet you, they’ll let their dad know. This is not your relationship to control.

Also, stop trashing these kids’ mother. Blaming her for them not wanting to meet you isn’t helping your cause in the slightest.

Also, also, you’ve met his family via video chat. During a pandemic. That may well be all they’ve been willing to do since some folks do still care about getting Covid. Same for his long distance friends. Lots of things got weird during the pandemic and it’s not all back to normal. Just…slow your roll here.